Drowning In Fear
by Whisper Sweet Nothings
Summary: Chuck Bass doesn't scare easily. But right now he's terrified. He's still dealing with his father's death, and now another bomb has come crashing down around him, and he's drowning in his own fear. Chuck & Blair
1. Fears And Flashbacks

**Okay, so...I've been hesitant about writing a Chuck/Blair story, but after I got this idea and I was inspired to start writing, despite my hesitations. Anyways, here it is. I'm not sure how long it's going to be. There's going to at least be another chapter or two [since I hadn't planned on this being very long when I imagined it in my head, but as I actually started writing it out, it became a lot longer than I had planned]. So...if you like it, and are interested in it and would like more than just another one or two chapters following this one...just comment/review, and if I get some feedback, I may continue with it even further if there's some people who like it and want me to continue.**

**Side note: I know this chapter has a lot of things from the 2x13 Chair scenes that I've elaborated on and changed a little bit, but the next chapter won't be like that. It won't be elaborating on things we've already seen on the show. For this chapter, it was just necessary to do that in order to set up the rest of the story.**

**I don't own Gossip Girl, or any of the characters, etc.**

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Standing on the balcony staring up at the night sky, he took comfort in the stars. They were so beautiful, yet so simple. The exact opposite of his life right now. For the first time in a very long time, Chuck Bass was scared, terrified even.

As his gaze moved to look at the lights of the city below him, he thought back to the day of Bart's funeral.

Blair had finally said those three words, she finally admitted she loved him, and she tried giving him comfort, the comfort and love he so desperately needed, and she wanted to be there for him. But he pushed her away, he wouldn't -- couldn't so those words, he hurt her...again. When he had shown up at the Waldorf residence that evening, the only thing he could think of was that he needed her - his Blair. His Blair who also loved him. When she had walked into her room and found him sitting on her bed, broken and lost...she took him in her arms, and he finally let his tears falls. He had stayed with her, and she held him tenderly, forgetting about his behavior that had hurt her just hours earlier.

She held him close to an hour before he couldn't fight it any longer, and drifted into a light sleep, while Blair just laid curled up behind him, still holding him, and watching him as he slept. He awoke a short time later, fear, pain and sadness gripping at every inch of his very being. While sleeping, he had realized that he was now alone. His father was gone. He was the only family he really had left, since he never had his mother. He was alone, and he had no family, he had no one. And as much as Chuck Bass was independent, and made everyone believe he needed no one...he did.

Despite their rocky relationship, he at least knew that his father couldn't very well leave him. Especially since Bart Bass never did anything that would be bad for his image and his reputation. Because of that, Chuck knew he would always have his father, at least in some smalls ways or aspects. He at least had someone, he had family, even if mostly just in name. So when he had woken up in complete fear and panic, Blair had been there to soothe him.

"Hey, it's okay...go back to sleep," she had whispered softly, stroking his hair back off of his face. His body stiffened, and he began to tremble. "It's okay, Chuck, you're not alone, I'm here and -," she paused, hesitant for a second, "I love you", she held him tighter until he turned himself to face her. His eyes held such sadness, and at the same time such emptiness. He needed her, he needed to feel loved and wanted in any way that he could, and he needed to know that he wasn't alone. He could only think of one way to do that. He softly captured her lips with his, his kiss being full of need and tenderness, but she gently stopped him after a moment.

"Chuck, it's been a really hard day for you, you should try and sleep," she spoke softly, thinking that the best thing for him would be to just rest. But the instant the words left her lips, she seen the look on his face, and the fear and sadness in his eyes, and a stray tear drop slid down his cheek. It was what he felt he needed, she could feel his need, and she loved him and all she wanted was to bring him comfort. She didn't speak a word, she barely even nodded, but he seen the slight nod, and with that he brought his lips back to hers.

That night, they had made love. It wasn't rushed, or full of lust, this time it was tender and gentle, and completely different than the other times they had been together. Blair had made sure he felt loved, and wanted, and she made sure he felt that he wasn't alone. She had stared into his eyes the whole time they had made love, and she watched as an uncontrolled tear fell from his eye, which she gently wiped away.

Afterwards, as he laid there with Blair snuggled up behind him, her arms still wrapped around him, he had fallen asleep, and so had she. He woke up almost two hours later, and he knew he had to leave, that for Blair's sake, he should leave. She deserved someone who could tell her they love her. She deserved to be treated right, and all he did was hurt her. The idea of hurting her more made his heart ache even more, and it was too much for him to bear. So he wrote a note, telling her he was sorry for everything, and that she deserved better. He also wrote not to come looking for him. When she awoke to an empty bed, she found his note where his sleeping form had been...and just like that, he hurt her again.

It has been two months since his father's death, and he was only just finally starting to put the pieces of his life back together. To the rest of the world, he may have seemed composed, and thought to be doing well. However, in the privacy of suite 1812, he would let the hurt, and the anger out, and afterwards would try drowning his emotions with endless amounts of scotch.

Within those two weeks, his breakdowns, and fits of anger and sorrow slowly became less and less. He still had times where it would just hit him all of a sudden, and a wave of emotion would wash over him. However, now that he was finally coming to terms with what happened to his father...another bomb just came crashing down around him. One that terrified him, and occupied most of his waking thoughts, haunting him, and shaking him to his very core. It was why he was hiding out behind the door numbered 1812.

**Word is that Chuck Bass has been hiding out in his suite for days now. But what we want to know is, what is the brooding Bass trying to hide from?  
****You know you love me, xoxo  
****-Gossip Girl**

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**So...what do you guys think? Any good? Think it's worth continuing it?**


	2. So Many Choices

**Here it is, chapter two! I hope you all enjoy it. **

**And again, I don't own Gossip Girl, or any of the characters, etc.**

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Blair Walford's stomach tightened when she read Gossip Girl's latest post about Chuck hiding out in his suite. She knew he was scared. But then again, so was she, though for different reasons.

She was Blair Waldorf, the Queen B, who kept many people's secrets, especially her own. The difference was that most of the time she used other people's secrets against them when necessary, and she didn't hesitate to do so. But with her own most recent secret...she didn't want to tell anyone, she didn't want a single soul to know.

Terrified of anyone finding out, Blair too had spent most of her time locked in her room, where she was alone, and no one could see her. Where she was safe. But despite Blair's best efforts, one person had somewhat found out about her secret, the one person she wished hadn't. Chuck.

She hadn't wanted anyone to know, especially not Chuck Bass. She was scared of facing everyone's reaction once her secret was exposed...but she was also scared of when Chuck found out. He was unpredictable, and she wasn't sure how he would take it. During when he first found out about his father's death, up until that night they had shared together in her bedroom the day of Bart's funeral...Chuck was unreadable. Before Bart's death, even despite his cool exterior, she could always see through him, she could look into his eyes and see the real him. The side of him that he hid from the rest of the world - except her. But since his father's death, she couldn't see the real him in his eyes anymore. For brief periods of time she could...like when he had showed up in her room during her mother's wedding, and he sat on her bed waiting for her, sadness paining his handsome face, and he let her hold him. Those times were few and brief, and before she knew it, he would shut her out again, no longer letting her in, no longer letting her see the real him. And Chuck had a way of hurting her, hurting her more than anyone else could. Lately, that's what he kept doing - hurting her. He practically rejected her "I love you", and he left her standing there alone, after she told him she wouldn't leave him. He then also left her, after she tried to give him what he needed that night in her room, he left her, with nothing more than a note, pretty much saying for her to leave him alone. He had hurt her, moreso than she would ever let on. For those reasons alone, she was scared of what Chuck's reaction would be to her real secret.

He didn't know her exact secret, her real secret, he had come to the wrong conclusion based on what he had seen. She had been unable to convince him that it wasn't what it looked like. But Chuck Bass was determined, and he insisted that he was right, and told her she had a choice. She could either tell everyone her secret, or he would. He had given her until today to make her choice. Truthfully, she wasn't sure which option she was more afraid of.

Blair closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath, and in her mind she replayed what had happened three days ago, the day her secret became somewhat exposed. She had not seen Chuck since he came to apologize after calling her his wife, his voice dripping with venom as he said it. After she has told him she was done and threw the flowers back at him that he had brought as a peace offerring, he had left dejectedly, and they had not seen one another since. Not until that day. Not until three days ago when he showed up at her house, for what reason, she still had no idea. But nonetheless, he had come over there. But he had come at the worst possible time.

When he had walked into her room, she wasn't there. Upon seeing the vacant room, he was about to turn back around and leave, but then he heard a noise. A noise he had known to dread in the past. He had slowly approached her bathroom, pushing the door slightly more open than it already was. It was then that he saw it. That he saw her, kneeling on the floor hunched over the porcelain bowl, the contents of her stomach being brought back up.

She had looked up at him in horror, unsure of what to do, and unsure of how to explain. The guilty look on her face made him sure that what he thought had been correct, that her condition had returned.

He stared hard at her, unsure of what to say, with worry, concern and fear gripping his body. He had known she had done this in the past, and back then he had been concerned...but now, now was different. Now as he seen what she was doing, fear gripped his body, because the difference between then and now was that now...he was in love with her, even though he didn't think he would ever say the words aloud, but he was. And that made him worry that much more, because he didn't want anything to happen to Blair, to his Blair. He wanted her to be healthy. He couldn't lose her now, too.

"Blair," he had said, his tone serious, "what are you doing? I thought you had stopped doing this to yourself". She had just looked at him, her eyes slightly wild, like a deer caught in headlights.

Finally she spoke, "I - I don't, I mean, I did stop. That wasn't what it looked like --," she tried explaining, almost pleading.

He had merely shook his head, not buying it. He knew she was hiding something. "Blair, don't try and deny it. You forget who you're talking to. And I seen what you were doing".

"Chuck," she had tried adding as much venom and hatred to her voice as possible, but her voice betrayed her, and it sounded more like a plea. "You don't know what you're talking about this time, it's not what it looks like. And either way, it's none of your business". Even though her voice lacked the venom she had hoped, she seen the slight hurt that crept into his eyes as she spoke the last few words.

"You have a choice, Waldorf", he stared directly at her, not taking his eyes off of hers, "either you can tell everyone yourself, or at least your parents about what you're doing again...", he paused, slipping his hands into his pockets and making sure she was paying full attention to his words, "or I will".

She looked away then, unsure of what to do, and scared. Scared that everything would be exposed, and that everything would come crumbling down around her. When she said nothing, and only shot him hateful glares, he spoke up once again. "You have three days. Make your decision, and let me know what you've chosen to do...otherwise I'll tell them myself if I haven't heard from you within three days".

After shooting him an icy glare, she finally found her words. "I hate you", she seethed. She hated what he was doing. But at the moment, she didn't know how to make him think he was wrong. She couldn't figure out how to get the upper hand, and turn this situation to her advantage. So she simply continued to glare at him, and stood to her feet, crossing her arms over her chest. "Get out!"

"Three days", he said firmly giving her a seriously look, before turning around to leave, following her command, and leave her to consider the two choices he had given her.

Blair opened her eyes, done thinking about what had happened that day and let out an irritated sigh. Even thinking about it now, her mind filled with anger. He was going to mess up everything! She was running out of options. Correction, he had only given her two options. Sure, she could try lying, but this was Chuck, and Chuck could always see through her, could always see when she was lying. She knew lying to try and cover this up was out of the question. She realized that she only had one option. It wasn't necessarily one of the two options Chuck had given her, but it may just be her only option, she thought to herself.

Grabbing her cell phone, she plopped down onto the edge of her bed, and dialed a famiar number. Placing the phone to her ear, she drew in a shaky breath as the phone began to ring. It was only when the receiving end of the call picked up that she let out the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding.

"We need to talk, come over. Now", she spoke quickly into the phone before snapping her phone shut, confident that they would come.

**Spotted: Our Queen B looking a little nervous. What's got you so on edge, B? It's only a matter of time before I find out. And when I do, don't worry kiddies, you'll be the first to know.**

**xoxo,  
****-Gossip Girl**

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**Just a note...upcoming chapters won't be one focused on Chuck, then the next chapter focused on Blair. It was just easiest to do the first two chapters this way in order to get the story started.**

**There will be some pesent time C/B stuff coming up soon inste****ad of just memories, just bear with me please! Let me know what you think and if you like the way the story is going so far, comments/reviews are greatly appreciated! And thank you to those who reviewed and added this story to your story alerts/favorites.**


	3. It Just Slipped Out

**I was inspired, so I'm updating this really soon! lol. Plus it's a longer chapter, so I hope you enjoy it and I hope I didn't do too badly portraying Chuck and Blair. All comments, reviews and constructive criticism is welcome.**

**I don't own Gossip Girl, or any of the characters, etc.**

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**Chapter 3**

It had only been ten minutes since she had made the call, and she sat there nervously picking at her nails until she heard a soft knock. Standing to her feet, she walked over to her bedroom door and gently swung it open and came face to face with the person who had the potential to ruin everything.

Chuck Bass stood outside Blair's bedroom door, his signature smirk in place. He didn't wait for her to invite him in. Stepping around her, he entered her bedroom, taking a seat on her bed and directing his gaze directly at her. He knew what this was about, and she had a choice to make. And he was Chuck Bass, and he was going to make sure this conversation went his way, he was not going to be easy on her, not unless he got his way.

Irritated that he escorted himself in without invitation, she huffed, and loudly shut the door before turning back around to face him.

"Okay, Blair," he said, his smirk still in place, "have your made your choice? Or shall I make it for you?". He knew he came across as not being concerned, as being closed off and indifferent and treating this as just another one of their power plays...but that's what he needed it to seem like, because despite his smirking mask, he was truly scared for the girl he was secretly in love with. He was worried that this, what she was doing to herself would become too much for her small little body, and he was terrified of losing her. Of losing the very last person he had, even if they weren't exactly on speaking terms, and even if she had claimed she was done with him.

"What, no hello?" she asked sarcastically, going to sit at the chair in front of her vanity.

"I didn't think small talk was necessary. So what's it going to be, Waldorf?" he asked, still waiting for his previous question to be answered.

Feeling his gaze burning into her, she realized she couldn't do this yet. She couldn't bring herself to speak, to stand up to Chuck's challenge. She just couldn't bring herself to tell him what she knew she should tell him. She turned herself away from Chuck, to face her own reflection in the mirror of her vanity, leaving Chuck to stare at her back. She averted her gaze down from the mirror, still feeling his eyes on her.

But she wasn't fast enough. He noticed. He noticed the glint of fear in her eyes in her reflection before she had averted her gaze from the mirror. His heart sunk, and he wanted to reach out to her, to at least hold her, or to somehow comfort her. But he couldn't. He had to do this, to keep his mask up showing no fear or concern. But one way or the other, he was going to help her.

Due to her silence, which was so unlike her, he thought he would try a different approach, a softer approach.

"Blair," he began, his tone softer, lighter, "you can't keep doing this to yourself. It's not good for you, it's unhealthy".

"Chuck," she spat out with more strength and venom than she realized she was capable of mustering at the moment. In her mind, she screamed 'just tell him the truth!', but she couldn't, the words would not escape her ruby red lips. So instead she opted for her own mask, looking up at Chuck's reflection within her mirror, her face hardening as she spoke her next words. "I'm not playing this game with you, Chuck. What I do is **none** of your business. And how I choose to deal with it is also none of your business, nor your concern".

He knew her defenses were up now, along with her Queen B facade, and he knew this wouldn't be an easy fight to win. "Waldorf, I'm ju--" but she cut him off.

"No, you're just nothing, Chuck. You told me you didn't want me to play the wife, remember? Well I don't want you playing the husband, nor the boyfriend, nor anything. You're not my anything, Chuck, so don't pretend to be". Inside she was screaming at herself, she knew he wasn't nothing to her, she still loved him, but she would be damned if she let him in on that fact.

Her words stung and he felt a pang in his heart, his own words being thrown back at him. But he knew he deserved it. He just hoped that he wasn't nothing to her. "Blair," he said softly, almost pleadingly, but again she cut him off.

"You chose not to care a long time ago, when you were screwing those whores that you had with you at the brunch. You chose them over me. You can't just decide to start caring --" but this time he cut her off.

"Blair," he practically had to yell over top of her rambling, not pleased by her trip down memory lane where she picked out every one of his mistakes, all of which he was all too well aware of. She stared at him slightly shocked by his raised voiced, and blinked at him with waiting and challenging eyes before he chose to continue, now having her attention. "We may not be together, but does that mean we're no longer friends, either?" he hissed. She looked at him blankly in response, so he continued. "That makes it my business. You need help, so either you tell your parents, or I will tell everyone myself," he shot back, not willing to play this game any longer. He wasn't interested in the power struggle or the bickering today. He was only interested in making sure she was okay.

"Get out!" she screamed. Inside she wanted to just blurt out the truth, but her head was aware of how stupid that would be, of how bad that would make this situation, and truthfully, she was also scared of his reaction. So she ignored her instincts to tell him, and stood up abruptly, pointing her delicate finger in the direction of her door.

Chuck stood as well, but unlike her, he was more calm. "No".

"What do you mean no? This is **my** room!" she hissed.

"No. I'm not leaving. Not until you make your choice," he said looking her in the eye, his voice unwaivering.

Feeling his intense serious gaze on her, she grew impatient and tried to tear him down yet again. "I am not going to choose one of your ridiculous options, Chuck. So you might as well leave. As I said, you don't just get to choose to care now," he sent her a glare, which angered her. "Now for the last time," she screeched, "**get out!**"

He was at a loss for how to handle this situation. If it was anyone else, it wouldn't have been difficult, but this was Blair. He needed to get her to see she couldn't keep doing this. He took one step towards her, staring into her deep brown eyes. "Why should I?"

"Because you Basshole, it's because of you that I'm like this!" she pointed an accusing finger in his direction. She gasped and her eyes grew slightly wider, realizing what she had just said, realizing that she had said too much. She mentally cursed herself.

"What are you talking about, Waldorf?" he asked slightly confused and taken aback. "How is this my fault?"

It was then that she snapped, not able to hold it back any longer. Him seeming so innocent, and asking her as though he's done absolutely nothing wrong made something inside of her snap, and she couldn't contain herself. "Because it's you that got me pregnant!"

She stopped, taking an unsteady step backwards, her body going limp in fear, her mouth hanging open. She wasn't supposed to say that. She didn't want Chuck to know. At least not yet. Not now. 'Damn it, Blair!' she mentally cursed herself. Despite all of her instincts that had wanted her to look away, to run, to get as far away as possible, she felt compelled to look up at Chuck's face, even though her stomach was caught in her throat and she was terrified of knowing what his reaction was.

When she finally gained the courage to look up, his face nearly mirror hers, though his was riddled with confusion. He stood there frozen, unable to move, paralyzed in fear. Blair Waldorf was -- she was -- "pregnant," he whispered, not believing her words.

Now, in this very moment, she had almost wished she'd let him tell everyone the lie claiming she was binging and purging again. She wished for anything that meant she hadn't just said those words aloud. Her eyes became glassy, filling with tears that were waiting to fall. She knew there was nothing she could say to take it back, to cover it up. Even though she was an amazing liar, no lies she could create could ever cover up what she just admitted.

"Blair, you're..." his voice still just above a whisper, unsure if this moment was even real, and panic still gripping him. "You're..." but he couldn't finish his sentence, he couldn't formulate the words. He couldn't do anything. He was stuck frozen in shock and confusion and fear.

"I'm ruined" she murmured to herself in a low whisper. Her eyes became wild, full of fear, and shame and uncertainty, mixed with another emotion that Chuck couldn't quite figure out. Her breathing became shallow, and her eyes darted to anywhere but Chuck. And with that, she managed to get her legs to function, as she bolted out her bedroom door running at full speed.

"Blair!" Chuck managed to call after her, regaining a few of his bearings. But it was no use, she continued running. He sprinted after her, his mind still dazed. But by the time he reached the elevator, the doors had just shut and just like that, she was gone.

She had heard him calling her name, heard his footsteps as he ran after her, but she couldn't look back, she couldn't stop. She just needed to run. To run away from this, from him, from this situation, from everything that was going on. She felt like she couldn't breathe. She just needed to get away, so she ran, letting her feet carry her far away from her penthouse, from Chuck, and from that look on his face.

It was then after he seen the elevator doors close that Chuck was engulfed by that unfamiliar feeling yet again. Fear. Blair Waldorf may be pregnant...and with his child. And she had just taken off...alone and scared and in a panic, and was God knows where running around the Upper East Side. Confusion still clouded his mind, but he knew one thing for certain. He needed to find Blair, and fast.

**Spotted: Chuck Bass running around the UES in his limo on some wild search. It seems like our favorite womanizer has finally come out to play. But to what do we owe this pleasure?**

**xoxo,  
****Gossip Girl**

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**A/N: I'm sorry if I didn't quite capture their voices quite right, but then again...I also figured due to the situation, and due to the fact that their feelings towards her each are more than just friendship now..that they may have a slightly different approach with things, and with a situation like this. But anyways...hit me with it, good or bad! I'd like to know how badly I did at capturing their voices. **

**And also, let me know if you'd still like me continue with this story much further, because if you want me to, I have some interesting ideas for it. I can either make it a short fic, with just another chapter, maybe two...or if there's interest for me to continue even further past that with it, I can will continue further with it. So...let me know, so I know which direction I need to write the story!**


	4. Searching For Comfort

**Okay, so again I'm updating really soon. What can I say, I was inspired and on a roll! So I thought I would just be nice and post it now, lol. Hope you enjoy reading it, and please review! Reviews are greatly appreciated =).**

**I don't own Gossip Girl, or any of the characters, etc. If I owned Gossip Girl, we wouldn't have to wait until March 16th for it to be back on!**

**Is anyone else in C/B and Gossip Girl withdrawl? lol**

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**Chapter 4**

"Shit," Chuck quietly muttered under his breath while he sat in his limo, trying to figure out where to try looking for Blair next. He had already checked ten places in the city, and drove around aimlessly in search of her, and every time she wasn't there, his panic grew. "I really need a drink," he grumbled to himself. He proceeded to reach across his limo, opening a hidden compartment and pulling out a boittle of scotch he had left there. He was about to grab a tumbler, but thought better of it. Who needed a tumbler? That was just one extra step and extra time that it would take before he could feel the scotch burn his throat, and he didn't want to wait. He needed to calm his nerves and think.

Taking a swig of the amber liquid, he thought of everything that had just transpired. Blair, his Blair was quite possibly pregnant...and with his child - their child. When the words had escaped her mouth, she had looked so scared, so...broken. She looked like a scared child who had gotten lost in a store, unable to find their parents. He had to find her. She was running around the Upper East Side alone, scared and...pregnant. He couldn't wrap his mind around it. But he needed to concentrate and find her, fast. 'She wouldn't do anything stupid, would she?' he questioned inwardly. He mentally scolded himself answering his own question, 'this is Blair Waldorf we're talking about...she does lots of stupid things when she's upset'. That thought made him panic, and wanted to find Blair all the more sooner.

Suddenly, a thought occured to him. Serena. She was Blair's best friend. And after having driven around various parts of the city and finding Blair nowhere in sight, maybe she wasn't running around after all. Maybe she had been with Serena the whole time.

"Home," he ordered his driver quickly, and took another large swig of scotch. Despite all the questions he had bouncing around inside his head, he had to find her. He had to find her and make sure she was okay, and that her - their baby was okay. And then he would ask questions. There was a time for questions, and it wasn't right now. And if he stopped to consider the idea that he would be father, or to think more in depth about the fact that Blair was pregnant, he was sure he would completely lose his composure. So instead, his mind focused on only Blair, and getting her back home safely. Or at least just being able to have her sitting in his limo, where he was at least able to protect her, and make sure that she was all right.

Minutes later, as the limo drove up to the Van Der Bass home, he flung open his door and started climbing out at a frantic pace, barely even waiting for the driver to come to a complete stop. He ran as fast as his feet would carry him until he was on the main level of his home.

"Blair?!" he called out, loud enough that she would be able to hear him if she was there. No response. "Blair?!" he called again, as he started running up the stairs towards Serena's bedroom. Just as he was about to knock on Serena's door, the blonde yanked it open.

"Chuck, what's going on?"

"Blair - is she here? Have you seen her?" he asked slightly breathless.

"No, why?" she asked, raising her eyebrow in both confusion and concern.

"Because she ran off when she and I were talking. I need to find her". He wasn't into dramatics at this point, he wasn't interested in being smarmy or being a smart ass with Serena. He just wanted to find Blair, and if Serena knew where she was, then he needed to find out.

"Chuck!" she spat in irritation, "what the hell did you do to her? Why did she run off?!"

It was at this point that he grew frustrated with his step-sibling. "I didn't do anything. You have no idea what you're talking about, sis. Just let me know if you hear from her". And with that, he turned on his heel heading back down the stairs, about to make his way back to his waiting limo.

"Where are you going?" she called after him as he pressed the button for the elevator, still concerned as to what was going on with her best friend.

"Where do you think - to find Blair. I'll let you know when I find her," he hissed just as the elevator doors closed.

He climbed back into his limo, knowing he was yet again back to square one. No Blair.

"The Met", he barked at his driver as he shut the door. As the limo began lurching forward, he picked up his scotch and took yet another swig, and then another one following that.

When the driver pulled to a stop, Chuck spotted her instantly. Why hadn't he thought of it sooner. She liked sitting on the steps of the Met. It made her feel powerful and in control. And right now, she must feel like she doesn't have control of anything, so of course she went somewhere where she would feel more in control and powerful.

He was already stepping out of the vehicle when she spotted him. She would be able to spot his limo anywhere. Getting to her feet, she abruptly began running without looking back towards him. She couldn't face him. She couldn't deal with this. She just needed to get away.

He stood there, his mouth gaping for a split second as he watched her get up and run before he himself found his footing and began bounding after her. "Blair!" he called, hoping she would listen and stop. But it was to no avail. "Blair!" he tried again. Seeing his pleas had no effect, his adrenaline surged, making his legs go even faster, if that was even possible, to try and catch up with her.

Within seconds, he did manage to catch up to her, but she tried to swerve away from him, but he was faster than her this time. He grabbed her around the waist, holding her still, holding her close to him. She gave up trying to pull away, knowing she was defeated as she let herself go limp against his body. She felt his quickened heartbeat against her back, as he held her tired body tightly to his chest as he motioned for his limo to pull up to where they were.

As he opened the door of the limo, waiting for her to get in, she began to profusely shake her head.

"Blair, please. Just get in," but she continued to shake her head. "At least let me take you home," he tried to compromise with her.

"No," she said matter of factly, giving her head another little shake. "I'm not going with you".

Chuck hesitated for a moment before using his free hand, and gently taking her small hand in his. He felt her tense at his touch, and then slightly relax. "Blair, please, just get in, I'll take you home, okay?".

She nodded slightly, exhaustion and defeat washing over her body. Chuck released his hold of her body, but still hung onto her hand as she began to climb into the back seat. He climbed in after her, gently shutting the door and immediately turing his gaze to the beautiful brunette, her curls were wind blown and messy, and her eyes were tired and sad.

"Blair," he began, but she stopped him and she immediately looked away.

"Chuck, no. Just don't, please," she said, her voice weak. Her voice sounded strange even to her.

He still had a hold of her hand, and he gave it a gentle squeeze before trying again. "I just need to know," he said quietly. "You're sure you are pregnant?"

She simply nodded as tears began streaming down her beautiful face. He knew without asking that the baby was his, as much as that thought terrified him. But this was Blair, the same Blair who had lost her virginity to him in the backseat of that very limo they sat in now. He knew she loved him, and that she hadn't been with anyone since the night they had spent together after the funeral.

He sat there unsure of what to say, or how to comfort her, simply just giving her hand another gentle squeeze. It was then that she finally allowed herself to look at him for a split second, and when she did, her eyes flooded with even more tears, and her body began to shake with sobs. Defeated, tired and scared, she sank down in the seat, curling her legs up to her chest, and laying her head down on Chuck's lap as she continued to sob.

At first he was taken aback. He didn't expect her to do this. He was amazed she had even still let him hold her hand, but now here she was, laying her head down on his lap. "Shh," he whispered to her, still holding her hand, and bringing his free hand to rest upon her hair, gently stroking it off of her face. "It will be okay", he murmured, though he himself wasn't so sure of that.

"It won't be okay," her voice was barely above a whisper. "I'm ruined, Chuck. Everything is a mess. I'm -- I'm pregnant. I'm still in high school. I'm alone, and I'm scared, I'm so scared, Chuck. And this...this stuff with us is just -- I'm just so confused," she said between sobs, her body still trembling as she broke down in front of Chuck.

His hand continued to smooth her hair, trying to soothe her, to calm her. This was not like Blair he knew; she would have never have let herself appear so vulnerable, so frail. "You're not alone," he tried telling her, his own voice barely above a whisper. "We'll figure it out," he assured her quietly.

Her eyes were heavy, and she fought to keep them open, but her exhausting day, combined with the fact that she was pregnant was taking its toll on her, and she was having difficulties trying to fight sleep. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..." she whispered half asleep.

"For what?" he asked, confused. But it was too late, she had already fallen asleep, a few stray tears still escaping her eyes as her breathing became slow and even and she fell into a peaceful slumber.

Despite the situation, the smallest of smiles crept upon Chuck's face as he gazed at the girl who was now safely lying on his lap fast asleep. She was safe. And that's all that mattered to Chuck right now. Blair was safe.

'But now how the hell are we going to deal with this situation?' Chuck thought to himself. 'Could Blair really become a teenage mother? Could he really be a -- a fa -- a father?' he stumbled on the word in his mind, tensing at the thought, as his throat began to close up, restricting his breathing.

"Oh God..." he whispered.

**My, my, why do you need so many bottles, C? Bottles of scotch, of course. Thirsty? I know I am - for the details, that is.**

**You know you love me, xoxo  
****-Gossip Girl**

**-------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Now that we've seen some of Blair's reaction to the situation...now the question is, how will Chuck react now that he's finally thinking about it and starting to process the information?**

**Anyways, please review, I love getting to know what you guys think. Feel free to give constructive criticism if you'd like, too. You can even tell me how badly I'm butchering the characters! lol...though I hope I'm not doing too horribly. And also, thank you to those who reviewed the last two chapters!**


	5. Unmet Expectations

**Okay, so here it is, Chapter 5!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl, Chuck or Blair, or anything else. Just in my dreams =b.**

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**Chapter 5**

Wanting to avoid being asked questions by Dorota, or even Serena or Lilly, he thought it best to bring Blair back to his suite, where there would be one one else there but them, and no one would ask any questions. He hadn't wanted to wake her when they arrived at The Palace, she had looked so peaceful sleeping, so he decided to let her sleep, and he carried her into his suite and laid her gently on the bed, removing her shoes and placing the blanket over top of her.

As appealing as the idea was for him to crawl into the bed with her, and just escape into a dreamless sleep, he knew sleep would not overcome him. He had too many thoughts rushing through his head that refused to be silent. So being as quiet as he could, in fear of waking Blair up, knowing that as soon as she woke up, her mask would be back up, and the openess they had shared earlier would be gone. He wanted to relish it for as long as possible.

Taking one more look back at Blair's sleeping form, he softly padded across the room to the bar, grabbing his finest bottle of single malt scotch, and a tumbler before making his way out onto the balcony. Sinking down to the ground, with his back leaning up against the sliding glass door, he poured himself a generous amount of the amber liquid, before drinking it all down in one swift motion. He repeated that process a few times, before finally pouring more and just staring at his glass as he swirled it in small circles, watching the alcohol swish around within the glass as all the thoughts he had been trying to avoid hit him like a ton of bricks.

'Blair's pregnant,' he thought to himself. 'And I - I am going to be a father?', the thought made him suck back the remaining liquid before pouring more. 'There is no way that I, Chuck Bass, could be a father. In blood, I had a father, but that was it. Bart was never there for me. He was barely even a father to me! I was raised by various nannies. So how the hell am I supposed to be able to be a father to anyone? I had no example, no guidance!'. The more he thought of his father's short comings, and the issues they had between them, the angrier he became. He also became increasingly angry with the fact that his father was no longer there, that he couldn't go to him with questions, or even for any form of advice, no that he usually did that when Bart was alive, but this was different.

'No more care-free lifestyle,' he thought to himself. 'I'll have to be...responsible,' and his eyes snapped wide open. He had never even been responsible enough to own a pet. Yet now Blair was pregnant...with their child, his child. A life that they would be responsible for.

Chuck knew he was in over his head. He knew Blair was scared, and so was he, but he had no idea how to help her, or even how to help himself. He was at a loss for what to do. Usually all he ever had to do to fix his problems was tell people the infamous words, "I'm Chuck Bass". But his name wouldn't help him this time, and he knew it.

He slammed back more scotch, and then another. Growing quickly agitated that he couldn't shake the thoughts from his head, and thinking about all of it and having no answers to anything was only succeeding in making him angry, causing him to throw the tumbler that he was clutching in his hand at the rail surrounding the balcony. "Thanks for being there when I need you, father," he seethed stumbling as he tried to bring himself to his feet.

Walking back into his suite, he figured it may be best if he tried to sleep in order to clear his head, so he slightly tipsily stumbled towards the bed and laid down, being careful to stay to his side of the bed, not wanting to touch her in any way, so that Blair wouldn't wake up with even more reason to be angry.

Closing his eyes, sleep engulfed him.

***

Over an hour later, Blair's eyes gently fluttered open. A slight wave of panic rushed over her when she realized she wasn't at home in her bedroom, and the last thing she remembered was falling asleep in Chuck's limo. Taking a moment to look around and take in her surroundings, she was just about to calm down when she noticed the slight weight over her abdomen, and looked over to see Chuck sprawled out beside her in bed, and his arm draped across her in his sleep. Quickly sitting up, and roughly shoving his arm off of her, she gave his chest a hard slap.

His eyes snapped open groggily at the stinging feelings her hand had just created on his chest.

Rolling out of bed, and bringing herself to her feet, Blair glared at Chuck. "Why didn't you take me home? You said you were going to take me home! And why were you in bed with me?" she shrieked, obviously displeased. She had let her guard down earlier that day, and she didn't plan on letting it happen again.

"Relax," he drawled, just barely lifting his head up to meet her eyes, sleep and alcohol still slightly fogging up his brain. "I was trying to avoid having people ask questions if I were to have brought you home or to Lilly's. It was obvious you had been crying". After saying what he needed to say, he let his head fall back into the pillow, hoping to sleep for another few minutes. He should have known better.

She gasped, hearing his voice. "Were you drinking?" she asked angrily. "You said you were going to take me home, Chuck. You can't take me somewhere against my will just because I fell asleep!" she shot back with anger. He opened his eyes to look at her, her hand on her hip, and her eyes glaring at him. He groaned before pulling himself up into a sitting position.

"It's not like I kidnapped you, Waldorf," he bit out. "You knew you were with me," he said with a touch more softness.

"As if being with you is better than being a - alo --," she stopped and clutched her stomach and Chuck's eyes grew wide in concern. All the alcohol and sleep evaporated from his thoughts and he got up quickly to rush to her side, but she quickly went running towards the bathroom as her hand flung over her mouth, slamming the door behind her.

A second later she heard a soft knock before Chuck opened the door, stepping inside as her stomach still emptied its contents. "You okay, Waldorf?" he asked as he ran a cloth under some warm water.

After her stomach stopped heaving, she looked up with hatred in her eyes. "Oh, just peachy," she snapped sarcastically, taking the damp cloth from him to wipe her mouth. "I get to throw up multiple times a day - not by choice," she added coldly, remembering his assumption from a few days ago, "and it's all because of you," she spat, throwing the cloth at Chuck's chest.

"Because of me?" he asked incredulously, refusing to take all the blame, despite knowing he was probably just setting himself up for trouble by standing up to a pregnant and hormonal Blair.

"Yes, because of you," she said, turning and walking back towards the bed to try and find her shoes. She heard him scoff indignantly and she whipped around to face him. "You're the one who got me pregnant with your spawn," she hissed, crossing her arms over her chest.

Despite being unsure of how he felt about this situation, and about the idea of having a child, her words still stung, causing him to stop dead in his tracks. He quickly wiped the emotion from his face, ignoring the hurt, but she seen it. She seen the look on his face at her words, and part of her felt guilty for having hurt him.

"I'm leaving," she said abruptly, wanting to get as far away from Chuck as possible. Especially with her hormones currently being all over the place, she wasn't sure if she wanted to hug him, kiss him, slap him, or just plain cry. She figured she would be better off leaving, and getting as far away from Chuck as possible. "Where are my shoes?" she asked, irritated that she still hadn't spotted them.

"Over there," he pointed towards the chairs by the bar before sighing. He knew she would be angry and difficult once she woke up, but he didn't think it would be to this extent. "At least take the limo to get home," he said more softly.

Her first reaction was to glare at him - why should he get to tell her what to do, or how to travel. But she was still tired, and she had been wearing heels, and she wasn't in the mood to walk all the way home she rationalized to herself, beginning to like the sound of being driven home. "Fine," she began, "but I'm going alone," she said before slipping on her shoes and marching out the door without waiting for a response, and without so much as a second glance back towards Chuck.

Letting out an aggravated sigh, he took out his phone and told his driver to come around front to pick up Blair and to take her directly home. After the call to his driver was taken care of, he went over to the bed and let himself fall back onto it, feeling just as confused as he had earlier.

He had hoped to ask her some questions after she woke up, he had wanted some answers, since she hadn't wanted to talk in the limo earlier, so he thought now would have been their chance to talk, or at least to get some answers. But instead she left. She was gone. This is definitely not how he had expected things to go. Not at all.

**Spotted: B leaving Chuck's suite looking disheveled. What's the matter, B? Mid-day romp, or lover's quarrel? **

**xoxo,  
****-Gossip Girl**

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**So what do you think? I know it wasn't the most exciting chapter, but I wanted to get into some of what Chuck was thinking/feeling about what was going on, especially since it will play somewhat an important part in the story.**

**Oh, and how much longer do you want this story to be? Because I could do things one of two ways. I could wrap it up within a couple of chapters, or I could get further into it and make it longer than that. And just out of curiousity [and this is an important question, lol], what do you want to see happen with this story? I have something that I want to do with it, but I'm also curious as to what you would like to see happen. Let me know!**

**All comments and reviews are greatly appreciated! And thank you to everyone who has continued to read this story, and for your sweet reviews, and also for adding the story to your favorites. I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint.**


	6. Walls Fall Down

**Here it is, Chapter 6! I hope you all like it. I did read it over before putting it up, but if I missed any mistakes, I apologize. **

**Please review and let me know what you think! **

**And I have to say it....YAY, new episode of Gossip Girl tonight! I can't wait!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl, or any of the characters, etc.**

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**Chapter 6**

It had been weeks since they had last spoke. Not since the day she had left his suite, insisting she go home by herself, and Chuck had no choice but to go along with her wishes.

Ever since that day, Chuck had stayed within his suite, not even bothering to go to school, just drinking mass quantities of scotch, trying to absorb everything that was going on. He wanted to talk to Blair, to find out how she was doing, but he knew it would do no good. As much as he wanted to insist that they talk, and figure out what to do, he knew that she was too stubborn to allow that to happen right now. She was angry that he now knew her secret, one that she had been quite good at keeping.

What angered him about all of this was wondering if Blair had even planned on bothering tell him. He wondered if it hadn't been for her outburst that day, would she have even told him, or would he have been completely left in the dark, oblivious to the situation.

So to try and drown out his thoughts, he drank the amber liquid, hoping it would numb him, and blur his thoughts, trying to give himself at least a moment of peace. But despite his best efforts, he kept thinking about Blair and their baby.

It was then that he decided he couldn't just sit around drinking all day, not when all of this was going on, because it concerned him as well. Sitting up from his spot on his bed, and reaching for his phone, he dialed the familiar number and heard the line ring once, then twice, and finally after the third ring, he heard the voice he had been waiting to hear.

****

Blair had just finished changing out of her school uniform when her phone had rang. Assuming it was probably Serena, she didn't bother to check the display to see the caller's name. Instead, she flipped it open, bringing the phone to her ear.

"Hello?" she said cheerfully, thinking if it was Serena, she needed to keep up her happy act, so that Serena wouldn't catch on to the fact that something was going on.

Instead, she was greeted by a low voice. "We need to talk".

"Chuck," she spat, not wanting to deal with him right now. "I'm hanging up now".

Chuck sighed, rubbing his eyes with his hand. "Don't hang up," he instucted, though it came out more like a question.

Blair had no interest in talking to him, but despite herself, she didn't hang up. "What do you want, Chuck?"

"To talk," he told her, his voice quiet and serious, though he nervously fiddled with the hem of his shirt as he spoke.

"We're talking. Get to your point, Chuck," she was already growing irritated, wanting to make this exchange as quick as possible.

Chuck was silent for a moment, contemplating his next words.

"I'm waiting," she reminded him impatiently.

"Had it not been for your outburst that day, were you even planning on telling me?" he asked her, his voice soft.

She hadn't expected that question. This time it was her that grew quiet for a minute, unsure of how to answer. Truthfully, she wasn't sure. A small part of her had wanted to, but she had been too scared of his reaction, and she was scared of anyone else finding out. "I don't know," she told him flatly, her brows furrowed.

When she got no response, she became agitated. "Now was that it, Bass? I have other things to do," she said briskly.

Sighing, and switching his phone to the other ear, he found his words and his courage. "Blair, you've had a while to think about all of this, to come to terms with some of it, you've known for a while and you didn't tell me. I just found out. I haven't had much time to process all of this," he explained, hoping she would soften at this realization.

She closed her eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath. She knew he was right. She had known for a while now, and he had just found out and she kept doing everything in her power to push him away and avoid him like the plague. "It's not like this has been easy on me, either, Chuck," she responded honestly.

"Then let me be there for you," he said with so much sincerity, it made her eyes well up with tears. "You told me after my father died that you would be there for me through anything, and I know I messed that up. So let me be there for you with this. I'm a part of this, too," he reminded her.

"I don't know," she said warily as a tear slid down her cheek. She didn't want to do this alone, hell, she didn't think she would be able to do it alone, but...this wasn't how she expected him to react. She didn't know if she could trust any of this, or if he would bolt at any given second, realizing that this was all too much and that he wanted nothing to do with this situation - or with her and their baby. She wasn't sure if she could deal with him hurting her like that and leaving her again. "What do you want from me, Chuck?" she asked in a broken whisper.

"I just told you - I want to be there for you. This is my baby, too," he said, his voice calm, soothing almost. He had done a lot of thinking the past few days, and he knew that even if it scared him, she was pregnant with their baby, and he could either be a coward, or he could help her, and keep her from falling apart.

Blair cursed her hormones as she began to cry uncontrollably when he told her it was his baby too. She had never expected him to step up in any way. She thought he would have ran as far away as possible, and gone off on to some far away country or island. But here he was, telling her he wanted to be there for her. She was too absorbed in her own thoughts, and her sobs were engulfing her that she barely heard him when he spoke.

"Blair? Blair, are you okay?" he asked worriedly, hearing her sobs. He wasn't sure why she had begun crying, but when he still got no response, he quickly got up, slipping on his shoes and grabbing his coat as he made his way to the door. "I'm coming over there," he told her, his voice making it known that it was not a question, it was a fact, giving her no room for argument.

*******

When he arrived, he paused in her door, just looking at her.

She was laying on her bed, her eyes closed, clutching a teddy bear he remembered from their childhood. It had been her favorite teddy bear when she was a child, and she had always cried for it whenever she was upset. A faint smile crept upon his lips, realizing that even now, at the age of eighteen, it still brought her comfort.

Hearing movement at her door, she looked up to see Chuck leaning against her door frame, his hands shoved in his pockets. Upon seeing him, she began sobbing again.

He wasted no time walking over to her and sitting down beside her on her bed. Instinctively, he reached over to stroke her hair, but when that didn't seem to help calm her down any, he pulled his hand back. Debating if it was a good idea or not, he cautiously maneuvered himself to lay down on his side beside her, so that they were face to face.

She looked up at him, her eyes connecting with his, almost as if telling him it was okay. He placed his arm around her, gently rubbing her back, hoping it would help to subside her cries.

A few minutes later, when she had finally managed to get herself to stop crying, she looked up at Chuck's face, studying it.

"You don't have to do this, you know," she informed him. "I never expected you to".

He looked her in the eye, so she would know he was seriously before he spoke. "I want to. I've been thinking about it a lot since the day you left my suite, and as much as it..." he trailed off, debating if he should be so open and make himself so vulnerable. But her eyes looked up at him expectantly, waiting for him to finish. He took a deep breathe. "As much as it scares me, I want to do this. I may be an ass with a lot of the things I do and say, but I don't want to be the kind of ass that wouldn't even care about his child. That's more along the lines of something Uncle Jack would do - actually, Jack has done that before. But I don't want to be like him," he told her honestly.

She looked away and quickly shut her eyes. "So...you're doing this for the baby," she said, her heart aching at the realization that it had nothing to do with her - with them. He was doing it for the baby, not for her. Not because he still cared about her, or even loved her.

Seeing a look of hurt wash across her face, he brought his hand to her cheek to caress it lightly with his thumb. "And for you. I care about you, Blair," his voice was calm and sincere.

A single tear escaped her eye. She wished so badly that he would have said he loved her, but she knew it would never happen. She knew not to get her hopes up. Chuck Bass would never say those words to her. But at least he cares, at least that's something.

"So what do we do?" she asked him, still looking down. She already knew there was no way she could terminate the pregnancy, and she definitely didn't want to put the baby up for adoption.

"What do you want to do?" he asked her, his thumb caressing her cheek once again, which caused her to finally look up at him again.

"I'm keeping it," she whispered, her voice trembling and full of uncertainty.

Chuck had assumed that was what she would decide, and he had decided days ago that whatever she wanted to do, he would support her. So he simply nodded his head, acknowledging that he understood her choice.

His simple gesture of understanding meant more to Blair than she realized. With slight relief washing over her body after now knowing he wouldn't fight her on her choice, she wriggled closer to Chuck on the bed and snuggled up against him, burying her face in his chest.

"Chuck?" she whispered.

"Yeah?" he asked, relishing in their closeness, glad that she had finally let her walls down.

"How are we going to do this?" she asked, her body trembling slightly at the thought of all the uncertainty that surrounded the situation. She didn't know how they would do it, or even if they could do it, and that scared her.

Feeling her body tremble slightly, he placed his arm around her, bringing her even closer to his body before he finally spoke.

"I don't know," he said softly, but truthfully. He didn't know how they would do this. They were teenagers, and they had reputations to protect - especially Blair. This would change everything, and he knew it.

As Blair laid in his arms, relaxing into his embrace, he lay there thinking about how they could do this, and about what would need to be done. But one thought made his blood run cold, and caused his breath to catch in his throat.

If Blair was going to have this baby...what if the same thing happened to her like it did his mother? What if he lost Blair, just like he lost his mother?

**Gossip Girl here. Seems like C and B are trying to stay out from under my radar. You know the UES most scandalous duo can't stay out of trouble for long. Come out, come out wherever you are. Until then, I'll be waiting for your latest scandal to unfold. In the meantime, you know you love me.**

**xoxo,  
****-Gossip Girl**

**----------------------------------------------------**

**So...Chuck stepped up, and he wants to be there for Blair. But are things with Chuck and Blair ever that simple? And..coming up, Blair has yet to go to a doctor...will Chuck be able to convince her to?**

**Anyways, I also wanted to ask you guys something. With a review I got for the latest oneshot I had done, someone said some things were described too much [although they were talking about the oneshot, I wondered if you felt the same about how I'm writing this story]. So now I wanted to ask you guys, since you're the ones reading this, if you would like me to describe things a little less, or if you're content with how it's already being done. Anyways, you can review and let me know. If you want things a little less descriptive, I can work on that.**

**And thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapters, or added it to your favorites or alerted it. It means a lot that you're liking it, and it's getting your sweet reviews that gets me motivated to write more, and faster. It's very encouraging, lol. So please review!**


	7. Unexpected Meetings & Sounds

**Okay, so I'm updating quickly. A big thank you to those of you who reviewed the last chapter =)! It's your reviews that get me motivated to keep going and write more right away, lol. And in this case, I was also just a little bit excited to write the next chapter while I still had it all planned out in my head so that it came out the way I wanted it to. So anyways...here you go! I hope you enjoy!**

**I read through it before putting it up, but if I missed any mistakes, I apologize.**

**A/N: I don't own Gossip Girl, or any of the characters...if I did, the show would NOT have ended like that last night...=(**

**-----------------------------------------------------**

**Chapter 7**

As soon as the thought crossed his mind, that Blair could live the same fate as his mother, the only other woman he has ever loved, it made his blood run cold and he couldn't help but walk around in a daze. The thought gnawed at him and filled his every thought - including his dreams.

But he knew, true to her typical Blair Waldorf style that she would protest to going to a doctor. He could already hear the string of reasons or excuses she would throw at him - their families, or their friends finding out, or worse - Gossip Girl.

So far they had been good at keeping everything under wraps, leaving Gossip Girl and her many helpful eyes and ears oblivious to the fact that Blair was pregnant. But he knew they wouldn't be able to hide it forever, and he knew that's what Blair feared most.

What he feared most, however, was something happening to Blair, just like it had to his mother. And he knew, despite her many protests, he would need to convince her to go get checked out, since he was sure she hadn't gone to a doctor since she found out she was pregnant.

So he took a deep breath, preparing himself for the fight he knew she would put up. He looked up at her still tiny form, as she intently flipped through a magazine as she sat on the bed in his suite.

"So..." he began, waiting for her to pull her attention away from the magazine. "have you gone to see a doctor yet?" he asked cautiously, his gaze fixed intently on her expression.

"Chuck," she began, her eyes fliting with irritation. She didn't want to get into this, just like he had assumed. She wanted to be as far away from that conversation as possible, because it scared her.

"It's important," he told her quickly, almost with a hint of sternness in his voice. But his eyes also pleaded with hers. He needed to know that she was okay, and that their baby was okay.

Sighing, and looking back down at the magazine on her lap, she paused before responding. "No," she told him softly.

"Then you need to go get checked out, Blair," he urged, hoping she would listen.

"God, Chuck, where is all this sudden concern coming from?". She was quickly growing angry, but that's how it was lately, she couldn't seem to control herself or her hormones. She was all over the place. And as good as Chuck had been to her lately, she still snapped at him quite frequently. "You didn't seem to to care or be concerned when you took off after your father's funeral, leaving me alone, not caring about how worried or upset I was that you had just left and that I had no idea where you were or if you were even alive," she spat, though she had a small tear brimming within her lower lashes.

Her outburst angered him, but he knew he also deserved it after what he had done. But still, her pointing out another one of his faults and screw ups didn't sit well with him, because he was already well aware of all the ways he had hurt the beautiful brunette, and he secretly hated himself for it. Taking a deep breath to calm himself before he spoke, he got up off the bar stool and walked closer to her, stopping a few steps away from her.

"Blair," his voice was warm and sincere, "I know I messed up, and I'm sorry for doing that to you. I was a mess," he paused to take a breath, wanting to explain his actions to her, hoping if he did that she would at least accept that as enough of an apology for now, so that they could move on to the bigger issue at hand. But before he could continue, she cut him off.

"Was?" she huffed crossing her arms across her chest, angered amusement dancing within her chocolate eyes.

"I'm trying here," he told her, his voice containing a slight hint of a warning.

Sighing, she looked down at her folded arms. "Fine," she muttered. "I know you were grieving, and yes, you were a mess," she emphasised the last word.

Sitting down next to her on the edge of the bed, he looked over at her, catching her eyes with his before he spoke. "I'm well aware that you're still angry due to what I did. I'm angry with myself for it, too. But we can get into all of that another time. What's important right now is that you go to a doctor and get checked out," he finished pointedly.

"Ugh, God you're heinous! Don't you ever give up?" she said exasperatedly. She had hoped in bringing up the past that she could have changed the subject, but obviously she hadn't been so lucky.

"No, not when it comes to this. Please, Blair," he pleaded, unable to shake the thought of the fate of his mother from his mind. When he seen her stubborn glare, he continued. "If you won't do it for me, or for yourself..." he trailed off, taking her tiny hand in his, and placing it on her stomach, with his hand over top of hers. "Then do it for the baby - our baby," he whispered.

She silently cursed herself for letting herself still get emotional every time Chuck used the term 'our baby'. There was something with those words coming out of his mouth that just made her heart melt. It made her feel like maybe things could actually be okay, that maybe, just maybe they could actually do this.

She couldn't bring herself to speak her response, so she simply nodded weakly.

********

The next day after school, Blair had just walked out of the classroom of her last class when she felt her phone vibrate in clutch. Pulling it out, she read the newly acquired text message.

**Outside waiting in the limo. Get in.**

**-C**

Softly smiling to herself as the curiousity hit her, since Chuck had never picked her up from school before, she wondered what he could possibly be up to. So without wasting time, she made a bee line to her locker to gather the required books she needed for studying that night.

Swinging the door shut, she turned on her heels about to make her way out to the front of the school to locate the limo, but was stopped cold in her tracks when a hand grabbed her forearm. Spinning around, she seen it was just Serena, and she let out a sigh of relief.

She had been doing good at avoiding people recently, hoping that the less time she spent with them, the less chance they would notice that something was different. And she knew it would be hard to fool her best friend as well.

"Hey, S," she greeted the bubbly blonde, instantly plastering a smile on her face.

"B! Where have you been? We haven't really gotten to spend any time together recently. Saturday night, my place, watching some Audrey and just catching up - what do you think?" she asked hopefully, a vibrant smile gracing her features as she grabbed Blair's hand excitedly, almost beginning to bounce a little bit trying to fill the petite brunette with some enthusiasum.

"Sure, sounds good," Blair replied after carefully considering it. She would just be with Serena, and if she started to feel nauseous, she could say it's just a bug, or if she needed an out, she could just make sure Chuck stayed at the Van Der Bass home that night, so that he could get her out of there if necessary. As much as she loved her best friend, she didn't want her best friend to find out she was pregnant. At least not yet. But she had to keep up appearances to avoid any questioning, which is also what made her feel compelled to agree to the plans.

Clapping and letting out a laugh, Serena hugged Blair quickly. "Good, we're going to have so much fun. We'll catch up. It will just be you and me," she rambled on to Blair.

"It sounds good, S," Blair told her distractedly. "But I can't stay and talk, I need to go. Chuck's waiting for me," she explained. But when she got a raised eyebrow shot in her direction by Serena, she quickly avoided it by adding. "I'll see you Saturday!" as she began to rush off to the front of the school.

And almost instantly upon exiting the school, she spotted the pristine black limo, waiting for her right in front of the gates. She hurried over to it, quickly sliding into the back seat.

"Afternoon, Waldorf," he smirked as the limo began gliding forward. She didn't bother responding, only sending a small smile in his direction. "How was school?" he asked her.

Looking up a little bit questioningly, she informed him of her plans with Serena on Saturday. "Which means...I may need your help if I run into any problems, because I don't want Serena finding out. So you have to stay there, too, in case I need you to be my excuse for needing to leave".

He nodded, understanding her not being ready to tell Serena yet. "Okay, I'll be there," he assured her as she looked out the window.

"Chuck?" she questioned when she realized they weren't headed to the Waldorf residence, or to his suite. "Where are we going?"

He smiled sheepishly, knowing he was going to be in trouble. He had skipped his afternoon classes in order to call as many doctor's as needed that Friday afternoon until he managed to find one who listened when he told them his name was Chuck Bass, and that he needed this issue to be kept completely quiet, and that he was willing to pay whatever costs, provided no one said a word. After ten calls, he finally found a doctor who met the criteria and would be able to see Blair this afternoon. The doctor had a good reputation, which pleased him, since he wanted only the best care for Blair and their baby. But the bonus was that the doctor's office was located near the outskirts of the Upper East Side, meaning they would be less likely to be spotted.

"Well," he began, slightly averting his gaze, "I made you an appointment".

She swung around to face him, anger gracing her features. "You did what?" she spat.

Chuck seen the slight fear and panic in her eyes. "I got you an appointment for this afternoon," he repeated.

"I said I would see a doctor, I didn't say I would allow you to arrange it and call all the shots and bombard me with it!" she practically yelled, her panic growing by the second.

"I was trying to help," his voice was low and calm, as he looked her in the eye.

"And what about Gossip Girl, huh? What about someone seeing me going into a doctor's office, and putting the pieces together? Bass, I swear I will --", but he cut her off.

"Blair," he said soothingly, reaching across the seat to grasp her delicate hand in his and intertwining their fingers. "Trust me. I called lots of places until I found one that was suitable and ideal. Dr. Harrison has a good reputation, and her office is on the outskirts of the Upper East Side. The chances of being seen are pretty slim. And plus," he added, in hopes of gaining her trust, "I also told them if they keep quiet, I'll pay whatever the cost, but that if any of them breathe a word of this, that they would be facing the wrath of Chuck Bass," his signature smirk graced his face.

She still looked skeptical, but sighed in defeat. "When's the appointment?" she whispered.

"4:45pm," he informed her, before giving her handle a gentle squeeze, sensing her hesitation and fear. "I'll be right there with you," he whispered.

Looking at him more softly now, she scooted a little bit closer to him on the seat, still keeping a bit of distance between them. "Promise?" she asked.

"I promise," Chuck reassured her, giving her hand another gentle squeeze.

Hearing those words leave his mouth, she knew he meant it. Because Chuck Bass did not promise anything, but right not, with her, he was, and that was all it took to subside some of her fears.

*********

"Mrs. Bass?" the receptionist called.

"What?" Blair hissed under her breath at Chuck.

"I thought just to be safe, I wouldn't give them your name, in case anyone did overhear and tried sending it to Gossip Girl," he replied with a smirk.

Sighing, she stood and followed the receptionist to the exam room, who then gave her a gown to change into.

"You can change into this," the blonde receptionist instructed her. "The doctor will be in to see you in a moment," she informed them, before quickly leaving and closing the door behind her.

"I hate you," Blair seethed quietly, glaring at Chuck for a moment before she began to take off her clothing to slip into the gown.

No sooner had she slid the gown over her small body, had the doctor opened the door and walked into the room. She was a tall brunette who looked to be in her mid-fourties, but she had a friendly face.

"Hi there...Mrs. Bass," she greeted, staring down at the chart in her hand. Blair smiled in response.

"So you're here because you're pregnant?" she questioned. Unable to find her words, Blair simply nodded, giving Chuck a sidelong glance to where he sat in the corner of the room, since he was unsure of whether Blair would want him by her side for the exam.

"Okay, well, your blood work confirms it," she told Blair, referring to the blood they had drawn when she first arrived at the office, before she had even been sent into the exam room. "You're pregnant. Have you seen a doctor since you realized you were pregnant?" the older woman asked. Blair shook her head. "Okay, so, first thing is first, why don't we just jump ahead to doing an ultrasound and find out how far along you are?"

Blair felt her throat slowly closing. She couldn't do this. This was making it too real. It was really happening. She was pregnant. She was going to be a teenage mother. She was being asked questions by a doctor. She was being judged. She felt like her air way was restricted, and she struggled to take slow, even breathes.

Sensing Blair's panic, and seeing the pleading look she had sent at him, he quickly went to her side, taking her hand, gently stroking the top of her hand with his thumb, giving her the strength and reassurance that she needed.

Looking back at the doctor, she nodded and layed herself back on the examination table.

Dr. Harrison lifted the gown, placing a sheet over Blair's lower half to cover her, so only her stomach was exposed. Chuck stood still for a moment, seeing the ever so tiny gentle swell of Blair's abdomen. He hadn't noticed it before. But then again, it was so small, so subtle that you wouldn't notice it unless you knew to look for it. But seeing it now, Chuck couldn't look away.

"Sorry, this will be cold," the doctor smiled at Blair apologetically as she squirted some gel onto Blair's stomach. "And okay, here we go," she said cheerfully, bringing the instrument to meet Blair's skin, rubbing it around trying to find the right spot.

Blair's grip on Chuck's hand tightened as she waited, unsure of what to expect, and very scared of what may happen.

But her thoughts were cut off when she heard a rhythmic echoing sound fill the room. Blair gasped and Chuck's eyes widened, both looking as the doctor turned the screen of the ultrasound machine so they could see it.

"There's your baby," she said with a large smile on her face, pointing at the little shape on the screen. "Everything looks good. I'd say you're about...eleven weeks pregnant," she told Blair.

Chuck didn't know what to think, he felt panic, but he was also greeted by an old familiar feeling - butterflies. Except these ones were a little bit different than the ones he got from Blair. That was their baby on the screen. His baby. Blair's baby. Theirs.

Blair's eyes filled with tears and she felt her heart stop beating for a split second. As terrified as she was, she was no longer trying to pretend that this wasn't real. Because the second she heard that echoing sound fill the room, she knew it was very real. She knew this was happening, that she was pregnant and having a baby. She and Chuck were having a baby, a baby that they created, who had been growing inside of her for around eleven weeks.

Blair and Chuck couldn't form words, they were both at a loss for what to say. Instead, they both turned to look at each other, their brown eyes locking on one another's as their intertwined hands gripped onto each other tighter, both just listening as the sound of their baby's heartbeat continued to fill the room.

This was real. It was really happening.

**Spotted: Queen B brushing off S to climb into a familiar black limo belonging to a certain Bass. But the real question is, where is our favorite deceitful duo headed in such a rush?**

**xoxo,  
****-Gossip Girl**

**----------------------------------------**

**Okay, so...Blair finally went to the doctor! For those of you who were looking forward to the doctor's appointment...I hope this didn't disappoint. Blair's night with Serena is coming up soon, among other things...but will Blair be able to act normal, or will Serena catch on to something being off?**

**And...just a note for the medical stuff. I didn't want to get into too much detail with medical stuff, because I didn't want to screw it up and get everything all wrong, so I kept it to a minimal. If I still managed to muck it up somehow...I apologize, but please bear with me.**

**So that was Chapter 7! What did you think? Please review! Reviews are very very much appreciated and loved.**


	8. Secrets And Slumber Parties

**Okay, so...hopefully you like this chapter. It is a little bit longer than the others have been. I just wanted to make sure I covered a few things in this chapter. If you like it, please review so that I know there's still interest in this story! I noticed with the last chapter that there seemed to be a little less interest compared to the previous chapters, though maybe it was just an off/bad chapter.**

**Yay for Gossip Girl being on tonight, though =).**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl, Chuck, Blair or Serena, or any other characters. I own nothing.**

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**Chapter 8**

Blair would never admit it to Chuck, or anyone for that matter, but ever since that doctor's appointment, whenever she was alone, she would find herself talking to the baby. About her day, or about Chuck, or even about how scared she was about becoming a teenage mother. Whether she liked it or not, she was becoming very attached to this baby.

"Is it passable?" she spoke quietly to the baby, as she eyed herself in the full length mirror in her room, examining every inch of herself carefully. She was about to go to Serena's for their girls night, but she was overly self concious about the gentle swell of her stomach. She didn't want Serena to find out yet, because Serena would ask entirely too many questions, and Blair didn't want anyone to know quite yet.

So after looking herself over one more time, she figured she would be safe wearing the loose fitting black dress that she had chosen, along with the empire waist pale pink silk negligee she had decided to bring to sleep in. Smoothing her hand over her stomach, she tore her eyes away from the mirror and grabbed her bag to head over to Serena's.

***************

When she arrived there at 8pm, Chuck was there, as promised. She glanced into his room, and he gave her a reassuring nod as she walked by, heading to the bubbly blonde's room.

"B!" Serena said rather enthusiastically. "You're here!"

Blair only responded with a smile, as she dropped her bag on Serena's floor and went to sit on the bed with Serena, as Serena turned the channel on her television.

Immediately getting lost in her own thoughts, Blair realized that she felt relieved knowing that Chuck was there, even if he was in his own room down the hall.

"B, are you okay?" Serena asked snapping Blair out of her thoughts, her brows furrowed.

Giving a faint smile, Blair gave her friend a reassuring look. "Yeah, of course".

Not looking entirely convinced, Serena decided not to press the issue further and change the subject. "So, then spill!"

Blair looked at Serena with a confused look on her face. "About...?" she trailed off.

"You and Chuck!" she said with a curious smirk, but then thought better of it. "Except...if there's any gross details I don't want to know about - spare me please," she begged over dramatically.

Letting out a small laugh, Blair looked down at her hands that were resting in her lap. "There's nothing to spill about," she tried lying.

"There is so. He even came to pick you up after school yesterday. That's not exactly normal, considering how you two left things. So spill," she instructed.

Blair hesitated thinking about how to respond. "He's been really good to me lately," she explained. "It's been...nice".

"Nice? Did you seriosly just use the word 'nice' and 'Chuck Bass' in the same sentence?" Serena seemed baffled.

Blair faught back a smile. "There's more to him than what you think, S. He's different with me".

"Right, just like he was different with you last time, too," Serena scoffed, becoming protective of her best friend as she thought of how things ended between Blair and Chuck in the past. But as soon as the words left her mouth, she regretted them upon seeing Blair's face turn into a frown of saddness, her eyes shining ever so slightly with tears. "I'm sorry, B," she quickly added, giving the small brunette a quick hug. "I just don't want you to get hurt again".

"I know," Blair reassured her, inwardly cursing her damn hormones. Under normal circumstances, she would have just gotten angry at Serena's words, but now instead, she felt like crying at her words. Her emotions constantly betrayed her now. She was turning into an emotional mess.

Hoping to cheer Blair back up, the blonde spoke again. "So what exactly has been going on between you two lately, aside from him being nice?" she asked, but then another thought occurred to her. "Are you together now?!" she said entirely too loudly for Blair's liking.

"I - I don't know," Blair stammered, the question making her mind race at the realization that she really had no idea what she and Chuck were. They no longer hated each other. He was being nice, and being there for her. He was being supportive. He was willing to hold her hand. And whenever he thought she wasn't looking, she noticed him looking at her tenderly. But was it all because of the baby? Or because of her?

The thoughts ran through her mind, which only created more questions. Taking in a shaky breath, she blinked away a tear that was beading up on her bottom lashes and stood up abruptly. "Hey, S, I'm just going to go downstairs and get some water. I'll be back in a few, okay?"

Serena nodded, watching carefully as her best friend left her room quickly. Serena didn't know what was with Blair recently, but she knew something was up. But she hoped that with Blair spending the night there, she would be able to find out what was going on.

***************

Blair had just made her way to the fridge when she felt him behind her. At this exact moment, she wasn't sure she could handle seeing him without her hormones betraying her even more. As it is, it's due to her hormones that Serena was now getting suspicious of something going on. She didn't need her hormones to cause an incident with Chuck, too, since she had so many unanswered questions concerning what they were and she wasn't sure she would be able to contain herself.

Turning around quickly, her eyes locked with his. Quickly looking away, she began to play with the hem of her dress.

Chuck reached behind her, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge before passing it to her. She looked at him questioningly.

"Thanks," she said softly, looking down again.

But this time, he stretched out his hand, and he using his free hand to grasp hers, placing a few small items in it. Confused, she looked down at her open palm.

In her hand was her pre-natal vitamins. Her eyes widened. She had forgotten to take them when she was at home.

She looked up at him confused, still wide eyed. "What? How did - did you...?" she trailed off, not completing her full question. She was at a loss for words, because she had no idea how he had gotten a hold of her vitamins, let alone the fact that he knew she hadn't taken them.

"Because I'm Chuck Bass," he said with his signature smirk in tact, not offering any other explanation.

"Chuck!" she hissed in a whisper. "What, are you keeping tabs on me now? Do you have your PI tracking me?" she spat. "You're so heinous, and this is so not the place to give me something like this, not out in the open. What if Serena seen! Or Lilly or Eric!" she asked agrily in a low whisper. She thought it was nice that he was looking out for her - or for their baby, at least, and it made her feel important, or at least special. But she was also angry at Chuck for how confused he made her, and with all the unanswered questions he left her with concerning them.

"Could have said it was birth control," he mused, his eyes holding a sense of amusement as he continued to gaze at her.

Blair closed her eyes. She wasn't sure why, but that comment had hit a nerve. She knew he was just messing around, but it still upset her, and she didn't know why. Aftering she continued to stand there with her eyes squeezed shut, Chuck became worried.

"Blair?" he asked softly, leaning down so his face was level with hers. After a minute, she slowly opened her eyes to look at him. "Are you okay?" he questioned, and she nodded. "I just wanted to make sure you took them. I figured you hadn't, so I was bringing them to you," he explained.

But both stood frozen when they heard a voice.

"B?" Serena called before she rounded the corner into the kitchen. "Hey, what's taking so long?" she questioned. But before Blair could answer, Serena noticed the pills sitting in her still outstretched hand. "What are those?"

When she didn't get an immediate answer from Blair, she turned her attention to Chuck, waiting for him to answer.

"Relax, sis," he drawled. "She had a headache. I was giving her some pain killers," he quickly covered, and Blair looked at him with a thankful glance.

"Yeah, I was starting to get a headache," she lied to Serena, before quickly popping the vitamins into her mouth and swallowing them with a big gulp of her water before Serena could get a better look at them. "Thanks again for the pain killers, Chuck", she threw over her shoulder as she walked over to Serena.

"How about we go watch Breakfast At Tiffany's?" Serena asked the petite brunette, hoping Blair's favorite movie could help put her in a good mood, so she could get her talking.

Nodding, the two girls began heading back upstairs, with a silent Chuck a few steps behind them on his way to his own room.

**************

Blair and Serena lay sprawled out on the bed, laying on their stomach's with their elbows propped up below them as they watched the movie. Even though it was Blair's favorite movie, she found that she wasn't able to concentrate on it tonight. And apparently neither could Serena.

"So," Serena nudged Blair's arm with her shoulder half way through the movie. "What was going on downstairs with Chuck earlier?"

Blair's eyes snapped in her direction. "Nothing. He came downstairs, I asked if he had any pain killers, he gave me some," she said dismissively as she began to get a sickly feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"That looked like a little bit more than nothing," Serena prompted. "You should have seen the way he was looking at you".

"Are you delusional? Because you're imagining things," she attempted to get Serena to back off the subject.

Blair closed her eyes, taking a few deep breaths as a wave of nausea hit her, which caused Serena to look at her, worry appearing on Serena's features.

"Seriously, Blair, are you okay?" the blonde asked, placing her hand on Blair's arm in a comforting way.

"God, why does everyone keep asking me that today?" she shot. She knew Serena was just concerned, but if she let on to anything being wrong, Serena would catch on. She needed to get Serena to back off some, and to stop asking questions. And she needed to get out of that room before she threw up. "I'm fine. I just need some air," Blair informed her matter of factly.

Serena was hesitant, but knew that when her best friend was like this to just let her calm down. "Okay," she told Blair. "Just don't take too long, or you'll miss the end of the movie".

Blair nodded curtly with a half smile before leaving Serena's room. But as soon as she shut the door behind her to Serena's room, she quickly rushed over to Chuck's room, pushing the door open and practically slamming the door behind her.

Chuck looked up in surprise, followed by a look of concern once he seen the pained and panicked look on her face.

"What's going on?" he asked within seconds of her entering his room.

"I'm going to be sick," she said, before making a dash to his bathroom, just making it in time before her stomach heaved.

Chuck followed her into the bathroom, and gently held her hair back for her, knowing she would be very upset if it got in her hair right now, since she was trying to be extra careful around Serena.

Many minutes passed, and Blair was just finally able to stop throwing up, her breathing becoming more relaxed. Chuck passed her a wet cloth to clean herself with and gave her a sympathetic look.

With her beautiful features held in a grimace, she carefully stood up from her spot beside the toilet, leaning back against the wall and closing her eyes, her body feeling weak and wobbly.

"Come on," Chuck whispered, lightly grasping her arm in an effort to help stabilize her as they walked over to his bed.

"I have never felt this sick before," Blair stated in a tone that was both irritated and sad after she sat down on the plush bed. "I've had morning sickness plenty of other times, but this is probably the worst I've had it so far," she told him.

"Are you okay?" he asked her.

"Would you stop asking me that?" she spat out in irritation. But when she looked up at him and seen the worried look on his face, she quickly spoke up. "I'm fine. Stop worrying, Bass," she said in a softer tone.

Both were quiet for a minute, before Blair quickly stiffened. "I'm going to be sick again," she whined as she made a dash for the bathroom yet again.

Chuck followed, and once Blair was feeling well enough to go back to sit on the bed, he helped her like he had earlier. But when they were a few steps away from the bed, there was a knock on Chuck's door.

"Chuck?". It was Serena.

"I can't go back into her room with her. Not with me throwing up every few minutes," Blair panicked, keeping her voice a low whisper as she spoke to Chuck.

"I'll handle it," he told her confidently. "Just trust me and go with it," he instructed her.

"Go with what?" she asked, but was cut off as his lips came crashing down onto hers, and his hand found his way to her backside just as Serena opened the door.

"Chuck, have you seen --" Serena started, but stopped as soon as she seen her step-brother and best friend standing there, completely engulfed in a passionate kiss. "Oh God! Ew, B!" she shrieked at the sight.

Pulling away from each other, Blair gave Serena a fake sheepish apologetic grin, her face flushed.

"Sis, we're kind of in the middle of something, if you don't mind," he informed the blonde, his smirk appearing on his face.

"Ugh, gross," Serena shuddered. "I'll just, uh, leave you two alone. Goodnight," she said quickly and backed out of the room, shutting the door.

Chuck let out a soft chuckled once Serena left the room. He knew it would work. She was overly squeamish concerning him and Blair being together. He looked over at Blair with a satisfied smirk on his face, only to be met by her pale, grimacing face. He knew she wasn't feeling well, and he was concerned not only about the baby, but about her. But he had no idea how to help make her feel better. So he did the only thing he could think of.

He climbed onto the bed and tapped the empty space beside him. "Come here," he said softly, waiting for her to climb onto the bed.

She hesitated for a second, but then reluctantly climbed onto the bed beside him. He layed back, lowering her down with him, with his arm wrapped around her small frame.

As angry and confused as she was by the fact that here he was being sweet again, which only confused her more, and left her with even more questions that still lacked answers...she went into his embrace willingly. She enjoyed the feeling of comfort it brought her. It was a kind of comfort that she didn't feel with anyone else.

Relaxing into him even more, Blair brought her head up to rest on his chest. He brought his free hand over to her stomach, and began lightly rubbing his hand in slow circles.

"I don't think I like the 'joys' of pregnancy," Blair said sarcastically as her eyes began to flutter closed.

Little did they know that Serena had stayed standing outside of Chuck's room, having assumed that her best friend would come out to talk to her after what she had just walked in on.

**Spotted: Chuck Bass at the pharmacy picking up something other than condoms. If that's the case, then what's in the bag, Bass?**

****

xoxo,  
-Gossip Girl

-------------------------------------------------

Quick note: The Gossip Girl comment is obviously meant from earlier in the day...presumably from when Chuck went to pick up pre-natal vitamins for Blair prior to the evening at the Van Der Bass home. [Hope that made sense to everyone].

So just out of curiousity, how are you expecting Serena to react? And do you even think she overheard them? I wouldn't mind hearing your opinions!

The past two chapters I've added a little teaser at the end for what would be coming up in the next chapter. Do you want me to continue doing that?

**And thank you to those of you who reviewed/favorited/alerted =). Reviews are very much appreciated, and I hope this chapter didn't disappoint!**


	9. Eavesdropping And Confusion

**First off, a big huge thank you to everyone who reviewed! The last chapter got like, three times more reviews than any other chapter, which makes me really excited. The response the last chapter got means a lot to me. So I really hope you guys all continue to review!**

**Anyways, I hope you all enjoy this chapter.**

**I did read it over before putting it up, but if I missed any mistakes, I apologize.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl, or any of the characters. The only thing I own are lots of nice headbands like Blair =b.**

**------------------------------------------**

**Chapter 9 **

Serena stood outside of Chuck's bedroom rooted to the floor. She was sure she hadn't just heard Blair say she was pregnant. She couldn't have heard right. With her brows furrowed, she went over what she had just heard debating if she had heard correctly or not, her mind barely processing everything due to being in a state of complete shock.

But then it hit her. Blair had been acting weird lately, and she knew something was up. She remembered Blair saying Chuck had been good to her recently. That he had been nice. If Blair was pregnant, that could be the reason for Chuck's change in behavior towards Blair. But what she didn't understand is why Blair wouldn't tell her. She was her best friend, after all.

So without bothering to consider anything else, and with letting her shocked and curious mind take over her logical side, she swung open Chuck's door to see Blair cuddled up to Chuck on his bed.

"You're _pregnant_?" Serena asked incredulously, and very loudly as she stared at them, her eyes wide and accusing.

Blair had just fallen asleep, but at Serena's words, her eyes snapped open instantly in both shock and horror, and she could feel Chuck's body tense underneath hers at Serena's accusation.

"Quiet," Chuck hissed at his step-sibling, sending an icy glare her way, both hoping to avoid disturbing Blair, and to try and keep Serena quiet enough that Lily or Eric wouldn't overhear what she had just exclaimed.

Blair lifted herself slightly to look at Chuck, the look of horror on his face matching the look on hers. Getting up quickly from his place on the bed, Chuck went over to Serena and grabbed her by the arm, pulling her inside the room and swiftly shutting the door behind her, causing Serena to glare at him.

"You're pregnant?" Serena asked again in a more level tone of voice, her eyes focused on Blair sternly, waiting for an answer.

"What?" Blair exclaimed incredulously, feigning innocence and shock at such an accusation, as Chuck just stood beside Serena. He was glaring at the blonde, with his arms crossed and his lips pursed.

"You're pregnant," Serena stated more as a fact this time, instead of a question.

"God, S, have you been watching too many dramas on TV recently? Of course I'm not pregnant," Blair lied, sending Serena a displeased look.

"Are we really going to go there, B?" Serena crossed her arms over her chest as she stared Blair down. Blair simply looked at her with an innocent look. "I heard you after I left the room," Serena stated, her eyebrows raising as she awaited a response.

Blair's face dropped, the innocent look falling from her features as she looked down. She held her hands in her lap, playing with her fingers nervously. She couldn't bring herself to look up at Serena, not wanting to see the judgement on her face.

Chuck stood there, leaving Blair to handle this how she thought fit. He wasn't ready to face the wrath of Blair Waldorf if he confirmed Serena's accusation when Blair wasn't willing to let Serena know yet. So he stood quietly, glancing at Blair to make sure she was okay, only to glare back at Serena.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, S," Blair said matter of factly as she found a new surge of courage, and glared at Serena.

"Don't deny it, B. I heard you say you weren't liking the joys of pregnancy," Serena concluded smugly receiting Blair's own words. Seeing the fear that became apparent in her best friend's eyes at her words, Serena tried a different approach. "Why didn't you just tell me, Blair?"

Blair yet again looked down, unable to meet Serena's eyes.

This time Chuck decided to interject himself. He had already been clenching his jaw, beyond irritated at Serena's persistence. He didn't want her pushing Blair.

"Enough, sis," Chuck spat harshly. "You heard her, she's not pregnant, so why don't you just go bug someone else," he said pointedly, motioning to the door.

Serena ignored him. "Blair, you can tell me. I'm your best friend," she pleaded, knowing that Blair was lying.

Chuck was just grabbing Serena's arm to pull her out of the room when Blair finally spoke.

"Chuck, it's okay," she told him in a defeated voice, and he released Serena's arm looking at Blair curiously. Still looking down, she continued, "I am pregnant," she whispered, knowing she wouldn't be able to hide it from Serena. Her blonde best friend already knew something was up, and she claims she overheard her saying she was pregnant. It's not like it would do any good to try and deny it anymore. If she did, Serena would just become determined to prove it, and in doing so, she might expose Blair's secret to everyone else. And that was the last thing Blair wanted.

"Why didn't you just tell me sooner?" Serena asked softly, slightly hurt that her best friend didn't bother to tell her, or confide in her. She stepped closer to the bed, where Blair was still seated.

Blair looked up at Chuck, trying to find the courage to have this confrontation with Serena. Sighing, Chuck nodded. "I couldn't, Serena. I didn't want anyone to know. And I didn't want to be judged by you, or by anyone. The last thing I need is for this to end up on Gossip Girl," Blair spoke softly still looking down at her fidgeting hands.

Serena looked up at Chuck now. "Do you mind?" she asked, wanting time alone with her best friend now that the truth was out and they could really talk.

"I do mind," he countered her, his jaw tightening, and he threw a quick glance at Blair.

"Can you give us a minute?" Serena tried again, this time looking at him with hard eyes.

He looked at Blair, unsure about leaving her alone with Serena who would probably ask far too many questions. He didn't want Serena stressing Blair out. He realized he was becoming quite protective of Blair ever since finding out she was pregnant.

"It's okay, Chuck," Blair told him with a smile small, locking eyes with him. "Can you just give us a minute?" she asked sweetly.

"But it's my room!" he said in an exasperated tone, almost to the point of it being a slight whine. Blair gave him a soft pleading look. "Fine..." he muttered as he turned towards the door. After grabbing the door knob, he turned back around and looked at Serena. "You are not to tell anyone about this," he said harshly. Then, looking at Blair, he softened. "I'll be right outside the door".

"What, so you can eavesdrop?" Serena asked challengingly.

"You mean like you did, dear sister?" Chuck glared. "You have five minutes. Then I'm coming back in".

After Chuck left the room, Serena turned to Blair wanting more information.

"So it's seriously Chuck's?" Serena asked wrinkling her nose at the thought.

"I heard that!" Chuck's deep voice came through the door.

"Then stop listening!" Serena yelled, causing Blair to laugh lightly.

"So it's Chuck's?" Serena asked again, in a hushed whisper so that Chuck wouldn't be able to hear.

Blair nodded, her hands still fidgeting nervously. "Yeah," she confided.

"But when?" Serena asked with a confused look on her face. "You two didn't even want to be anywhere near each other for months".

"After Bart's funeral," Blair explained, meeting Serena's eyes. "It just sort of happened. I can't explain it. You wouldn't understand it unless you were there," she couldn't find the words she was looking for to properly explain.

"Ew, I'm glad I wasn't!" Serena shrieked in a low whisper. but then grew serious. "But what are you going to do?"

"I'm keeping it. _We're_ keeping it," she corrected herself with a small smile, one hand instinctively and protectively placing itself over her abdomen.

"So is that what you meant before, about Chuck being good to you recently?" Serena asked, remembering Blair's words from earlier that night.

Blair nodded. "He's been really great, S. He's been really supportive, and dare I say it, helpful. I don't think I could do this without him," she confessed.

"And are you happy about all of this, about being pregnant?" the blonde asked hesitantly.

"I don't know. I mean, obviously I didn't plan for this to happen. I'm scared," Blair paused, her eyes becoming glassy with tears at the thought of everything, which caused Serena to lean in and give her a reassuring hug. "But Chuck's been really good to me since he found out, despite being heinous at times," Blair rolled her eyes. "He's the only other person that knows, S, and I want to keep it that way, so you can't say anything to anyone. No one. I don't want the whole Upper East Side knowing," she cautioned.

"I won't tell anyone, B. Promise," she reassured the brunette with a smile. "But I can't get over the fact that Chuck has actually been...nice and...helpful," she sounded unsure of her wording as she let out a soft laugh.

"The downside to him being around, and helping me is that it confuses me. I'm confused by all of it, even though I appreciate him being there for me. I don't know where things stand between us," Blair said with a sigh, her confusion becoming evident on her face.

Serena grasped Blair's free hand. "Then why don't you ask him," the blonde advised with small smile.

"S, I ca --," the petite brunette stopped mid-sentence, an unreadable expression crossing her face.

"B? What is it?" Serena asked, concern creeping over her.

"Chuck!" Blair yelled, her face still contorted into an unreadable expression as her hand continued to lay on her stomach.

Within seconds, Chuck was back in the room and by Blair's side, a questioning and worried look washing over his features as her looked her over, trying to figure out what was wrong. "Is it the baby?" he asked, noticing her hand resting on her abdomen.

She nodded. "I -- I felt something. It felt like....like fluttering," she explained, her eyes raising up to meet his as she looked at him in amazement, a smile small creeping over her lips.

"Oh my God, B!" Serena exclaimed excitedly. "You felt the baby move?"

Blair nodded, and then looked towards Chuck again, still with a faint smile on her lips.

After realizing she was okay, his features relaxed, and a tiny content smirk formed on his lips as he sat down next to Blair. He reached his hand over to place it on top of hers, which was still resting on her stomach. He couldn't explain what caused him to do what he did next, but in that moment, it just felt right.

Without another thought, he leaned in and captured Blair's soft lips with his.

**Gossip Girl here. It seems like a certain soon-to-be CEO hasn't been seen out partying with any women recently. What's the matter, C, technical difficulties? Maybe the trip to the pharmacy was for the little blue pill. Viagra, anyone? **

**xoxo,  
-Gossip Girl**

----------------------------------------------------

**Just to clarify, it wasn't that Chuck didn't trust Serena...he just didn't want her to bombard Blair with questions, and therefore upset her...which is why he was hesitant to leave the room, and because he's being protective of Blair...that and the fact that it is his room, lol.**

**Second thing I want to clarify....Blair didn't feel the baby kick. She just felt the baby move. So..it's not that her hand felt the movement, it's just that she felt it inside of her. I know I wrote it so that she's only about 11 weeks pregnant right now, but I've also been trying to do a little bit of research so that I don't have things too unrealistic. I know that pretty early in the pregnancy, but it is possible to feel it then already, it's different for everyone, and also with her being as thin as she is, there would be more of a chance for her to be able to feel the baby's movements sooner than the approximate time frame that's usually given [I did read that somewhere, I'm not making it up, I swear, lol]. So just trust me and go with it for the story, lol =).**

**And I'm sorry, I couldn't resist the viagra GG blast. But there's also a slight hint at something in that blast. You can try guessing if you'd like =b [and obviously he wasn't picking up viagra, keep in mind he was getting Blair's vitamins].**

**Coming up...will Chuck and Blair finally be able to talk about their feelings and where they stand? And if they get to, what will happen when they do?**

**Anyways, sorry for the long rant. I just wanted to explain those two things so that there was no confusion. With that said, I hope this chapter didn't disappoint and that it met your expectations as far as what you hoped might happen. Pretty please review if you liked it, and let me know what you think!**


	10. Passionate Where We Stand

**So it's been longer than usual since I usually update. I'm sorry. But I got very caught up in reading a set of books I just recently got, and I couldn't put them down for the life of me, lol. That, and I was debating how I wanted this chapter to go. I had two ideas, both similar, but they would impact the story and its timeline slightly differently. So..I finally made my decision and got to writing. I'm hoping you enjoy this chapter and are still interested in this story.**

**This chapter isn't the longest, especially since I wanted to end it where I did. But I still think the chapter is okay. Let me know what you think!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I don't own Gossip Girl, or the characters. If I did...Blair would not be with Nate, and Chuck would not be with Vanessa.**

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**Chapter 10**

Without another thought, he leaned in and captured Blair's soft lips with his.

Serena tried to look away, but she could still hear the soft moan that escaped Blair's lips. It was when she noticed Blair's movement on the bed, with Blair trying to bring her body as close to Chuck's as possible, and Chuck's hands in Blair's hair that Serena had finally had enough.

"Ew, I'm so out of here!" Serena cried as she ran out of the room, closing the door on the brunette pair.

At Serena's outburst, they pulled apart, both of them breathing slightly raggedly.

"And she thought _I_ had a thing for dramatics," Blair scoffed. Chuck smirked, and let out a small chuckle at the expression on Blair's face, but quickly went back to his ministrations on her mouth.

"Chuck--" she tried to say, but he cut her off as his tongue began to trace her lips, seeking access. She was enjoying herself and the sensations his kisses created too much to try to stop him, and so she willingly let his tongue explore her mouth.

His left hand found its way into her chocolate curls again, while his other hand explored every inch of her body that he could reach, and pulled her body as close to his own as possible in the process.

It's when his hand began to slowly caress its way up her thigh that she remembered why they couldn't do this.

"Chuck," she breathed, the word muffled by his lips still crushing hers with passion, but also with a certain tenderness. But he doesn't stop, he thinks she's simply saying his name out of pleasure or enjoyment.

Realizing that she won't have much luck with her words to try and stop this before it goes too far, she places her hands on his chest and uses all her strength to push him off from on top of her.

He lands on the floor with a resounding thud.

"Ow! Damn it, Blair!" he almost yells, and Blair has to supress a giggle at his reaction. With a loud groan of protest to her actions, he pulls himself off the floor and glares at her. "What was that for? Weren't you enjoying yourself? Because I think you were. I have the scratch marks to prove it," he finished with a smirk, causing Blair to roll her eyes.

"That's besides the point," she said with a glare. "This," she said, motioning her hand between the two of them, "can't happen. It shouldn't happen."

"And why is that?" he asked, his eyebrow quirked as he took a seat beside her on the bed again.

"Because it can't, Chuck."

"So let me get this straight," he drawled, his hands folding together into his lap. "I was enjoying myself. You were enjoying yourself. And you're pregnant with my baby," he said, bringing his hand to gently place it over her stomach. "But you don't want to sleep with me."

"I never said I didn't want to," Blair whispered, her eyes gazing downward, looking anywhere but him.

"Then what's the problem, Waldorf?" he asked, his voice more calm and soothing now, no longer containing a hint of irritation or amusement. He didn't want to push her into sleeping with him, but he wanted to know why she pushed him away.

After getting no response after a few minutes, and her eyes remaining glued to anything but him, he grew anxious and brought his finger under her chin to bring her face to look at him. "Blair?" he asked hesitantly, still hoping for a response.

Her eyes finally lifted to meet his, his hand still below her chin to try and keep her from looking away. It was then that he noticed the slight excess moisture in her eyes. She quickly looked down again before she dared to speak.

"What are we, Chuck?" she whispered in a shaky breath. "You're the womanizer of the Upper East Side. And I'm...me. First you wanted to do things right, and take things slow. And then you abandoned me and never showed up in Tuscany. Then you try to get me back, but you refuse to tell me that you love me. And then...I finally tell you I love you, and...you brushed me aside, and then showed up in my room that night...which, ultimately is how we got here," she motioned around the room with her hand before placing it over her belly. "I'm not saying I regret that night," she added quickly. "And you've been good to me since you found out about the baby. But...where does that leave us? What _are_ we?" she whispered.

"Blair," he spoke softly, trying to get her to meet his gaze. "I'm not exactly the womanizer of the Upper East Side anymore. I haven't been with anyone since that night with you after my father's funeral," he confessed, feeling a pang in his chest at the memory of his father's death. He searched her eyes for her reaction, knowing she wouldn't have expected that from him, but all he could detect was slight shock in her eyes.

"I -- you -- you haven't been with anyone since we were last together?" she asked breathlessly, searching his face for any sign of this being a lie.

"No one."

"Why?" she asked, having a hard time accepting what he was saying. It was shocking to her. Chuck was all about booze and women, and here he was telling her he hadn't been with anyone since her, since the night their baby was conceived. "You -- you're always with someone new every night."

"You. I kept thinking about you. Had I thought about having sex with women I met? Of course. I mean, I'm Chuck Bass. But I didn't because...because they weren't you," he explained hesitantly, his eyes still locked on hers, trying to measure her reaction.

But she didn't give him long to try to judge her reaction, because she rolled over to straddle him, her mouth was fervently on his, with a new kind of urgency. At his explanation, her heart had swelled, knowing that he thought of her after he had left, and that he didn't want other women, because he was thinking about her. Because he wanted her. She knew their conversation so far hadn't fully solved the question of what they are and where they stand, but what she wanted right now was him. She blamed it on his confession, which warmed her heart, and she also blamed it on her out of whack hormones. But at this moment, with her lips on his, his fingers knotted in her hair, her fingers tracing the contours of his chest, and their bodies so close together that she could feel the warmth radiating off of him, and could feel the effect she was having on him...she didn't care what they were right at this exact second. It could be figured out later. She just cared that he obviously cared about her, and seemed to want her, and their baby. And right now, she wanted him in a way that she hadn't in quite some time, not since Bart's funeral. And she figured the rest could be figured out later.

Her small trembling hands reached for his pants, and began trying to push them down his hips, but he broke away from the kiss, and grasped her wrists.

"You sure?" he whispered, his honey eyes smoldering as they searched her face, waiting for her answer.

And just like she had so long ago, she leaned in and kissed him again, giving him the answer to his question. He helped her remove his pants, and he just as quickly shed her of her clothing as well. Both of them looked one another over, taking into memory every part of one another. It had been so long since they had been together like this, and they wanted to remember it, because this time it was different. This time there was more involved, and more at stake.

There was an urgency and a passion in their love making, but also a tenderness and longing.

Being completely content after they had brought each other to new levels of bliss, they lay together tangled in the sheets, Chuck's arm wrapped securely around Blair's waist, and her head resting on his chest.

Chuck had fallen asleep, but Blair was still awake. She couldn't help but think about her and Chuck, and where she hoped they stand. What she hoped they were. Especially after tonight. It had been amazing, and nothing had ever felt so right to Blair. She had felt whole and complete when their bodies had become one, and even now, laying in his arms, she felt content and happy, like there was nothing missing in her life. She felt optimistic that everything would work out with Chuck, that he would hopefully want to finally be with her, really be with her, and that they would get through this pregnancy and parenthood together.

She couldn't keep the smile off her face as her mind was flooded with possibilities of what was to come in her future with Chuck, and with the baby - their baby.

But her smile soon faded when she felt an odd feeling in her stomach. A twisting. A sharp feeling. A feeling of pain.

Gently extracting herself from Chuck's arms without waking him, she headed towards Chuck's bathroom.

She was greeted by the sight of blood.

Tears sprung to her eyes at what she saw. Something must not be right. She shouldn't be feeling this kind of pain. She shouldn't be bleeding. Panic flooded her every thought, her every movement. She couldn't think of what to do, so she did what came to mind first. She screamed.

**Spotted: Serena fleeing the Van Der Bass home in a rush, looking shocked and disgusted. What's the matter, S? Get a glimpse of our favorite womanizer in action? It was only a matter of time before you walked in on one of C's many late night romps.**

**xoxo,  
-Gossip Girl**

**----------------------------------------**

**Okay, so I was mean and ended it there. But I hope you let me know what you think, and if you liked it. I did at least throw in a little bit of C&B cuteness or a heart to heart, though! So yay for that. And C&B started to discuss where they stand, before getting...side tracked, lol. **

**Coming up....the fate of Blair and the baby. How will Chuck react to the possibility of something being wrong with Blair or the baby? Will anyone other than Chuck have heard Blair's scream?**

**With all that said....please review and let me know if you liked it and if you're still interested!  
And reviews really do motivate me to write faster, I find reviews very encouraging. And also, a big thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! =)**


	11. Guilty Thoughts Of Fear

**Okay, so here's the next chapter. It's a little different than I expected it to be, but I realized another important thing that needed to be addressed in this chapter, since it's very important to the story. Anyways, hope it doesn't disappoint.**

**I did read it over before putting it up, but if I missed any mistakes, I apologize.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl or any of the characters. If I did...Blair would NOT be with Nate...**

**----------------------------------------------------------**

**Chapter 11**

Chuck's eyes flew open as soon as he heard Blair's heartbreaking scream. Before Blair had any time to even think about what she had just done, Chuck had burst through the bathroom door and was by her side.

"Blair, what's wrong? What is it?" he asked breathlessly, taking in the sight of her tear streaked face and her pained expression. But as soon as his eyes laid upon her hands, which were clutching her stomach, he panicked. "Is it the baby?"

She nodded, squeezing her eyes closed as she began sobbing. "Something's wrong. It hurts. It hurts, Chuck, and I'm -- I'm bleeding," she sobbed, and he wrapped his arms around her, hoping it would help subside the sobbing.

"We're going to get you to the hospital, it's going--" Chuck began to say, but was cut off by the loud knock on his bedroom door.

"Charles?" Lily called through the door, a hint of worry in her voice. "Charles, what's going on? I heard a scream coming from your room. Is everything alright?" she questioned as Blair tried to hold back her tortured sobs.

Chuck cursed under his breath, and glanced at Blair's tortured expression. "Everything is fine, Lily. Since Serena took off, Blair and I watched a movie. She had fallen asleep during the movie, so when she woke up in my bed, with me laying next to her, well -- lets just say she had a minor overreaction," Chuck lied as he stared at the closed door which Lily stood on the other side of.

"Oh," Lily said softly, mauling over Chuck's excuse. "Is Blair all right?"

"I'm okay," Blair managed to choke out without containing any evidence of her current state.

"I was just about to take Blair home. There's nothing to worry about. You can go back to sleep," Chuck tried to assure the blonde woman he's come to consider family.

"Okay, well, if everything is okay, then...goodnight," she said hesitantly before turning and walking away from Chuck's still closed door.

Blair's bottom lip trembled as soon as Lily was gone, and tears continued to stream down her porcelain face.

"Can you get dressed?" Chuck asked her softly, as he rubbed slow circles onto her back in an attempt to try and keep her calm, even though he was in a panic himself. Blair nodded. "Okay, then lets get you dressed, and then we'll get the limo to take us to the hospital. The limo won't create as much attention as an ambulance would, and I know you don't want everyone finding out about the pregnancy," he explained to her.

After both of them threw on clothing as quickly as they could, with Blair being as careful as she could and moving as little as possible, they snuck out of Chuck's room. Chuck looked to make sure Lily was in bed, and when he seen that she was, he came and picked Blair up and carried her out to the limo.

****************

They sat silently in the limo, with Chuck wrapping a protective arm around Blair as she sat right up beside him. Her face was still tear stained, and her body gently quivered with sobs that she was biting her lip to muffle.

"I'm scared, Chuck," Blair confessed barely in a whisper, as she buried her face into Chuck's shoulder.

"We'll be at the hospital soon, and they'll make sure everything is okay," he attempted to reassure her, though he himself was just as scared. He had a thousand thoughts going through his mind, but he knew he needed to keep it together for Blair.

She nodded gently against his chest and winced at the pain, another sob escaping her lips. "Ow, it --" Blair started to say, but her voice trailed off as her body slid limpy to fall onto Chuck's lap, completely unconscious.

"Blair?" No response. "Blair, are you okay? Wake up!" he tried shaking her gently, trying to get her eyes to flutter open to see her beautiful eyes. More than anything, he just wanted her eyes to open as panic and hysteria completely flooded his body at the thought of something not only being wrong with the baby, but also with Blair.

"Drive faster!" he barked to the driver as he continued to try and wake Blair.

********************

He ran into the hospital with Blair's unconscious body in his arms.

"She needs a doctor, _now_" he hissed at the receptionist at the front desk.

"Right away, sir," she tried to calm him as she flipped her dark blonde hair over her shoulder and called for a stretcher.

"And one more thing," he told the woman with a snarl. "If you or any of the staff who will be involved with this woman's care breathes a word of her being here, I, Chuck Bass, will personally make sure that you all will be fired and will not be able to get a job at any other hospital. I will pay whatever it takes for the best care possible for her, and also for you and your staff's discretion. Is that understood?" he barked at the woman.

"Umm...uhh...yes, sir," the petite receptionist answered with a hint of fear in her voice.

Two nurses with a stretcher walked over to Chuck, and he gently placed Blair's unconscious form onto the stiff white sheets.

"You'll be paid for your discretion, provided you don't breathe a single word about her being here, or about her condition," he warned the nurses with a glare. They both nodded, both being used to similar demands by other rich Upper East Siders. Chuck sighed before continuing in a hushed tone. "She's pregnant. She was in pain, and was bleeding. Then on the way here she passed out, she's been unconscious since," he informed them.

They gave a curt nod, and began to push the stretcher to an exam room, and Chuck began to follow, not wanting to leave Blair.

"You'll need to stay in the waiting area, and you'll also have some forms you need to fill out. A doctor will be out to speak with you shortly," the taller of the two female nurses told him.

Chuck gave a solmn nod, and watched as Blair was wheeled away.

It was then that his thoughts began to catch up with him. Without thinking, he took the forms the receptionist handed him, and filled them out absentmindedly before handing them back to the receptionist.

He felt like his head was going to explode. He was panicking, because he realized that Blair may lose the baby. Their baby may not survive. And what made it worse was that Blair was unconscious, and he started to realized that Blair could die from her pregnancy, just like his mother did, even though his mother died giving birth. But it was still a very real possibility that something could happen to Blair, too, that her body may not be able to handle the pregnancy and she may not survive either. Both thoughts made his blood run cold.

But this baby, their baby is the only blood family he has, but more importantly, he loved the baby already, whether he admitted it to anyone yet or not. And Blair is the one girl he's ever loved, and he hadn't even bothered to tell her that yet. He wanted to get to tell her that. He didn't want anything to happen to her, especially without her not knowing that.

Blair and the baby are the two most important people in his life, and he didn't want to lose either one of them. More than anything, he just wanted them to be okay. He couldn't bear the thought of anything happening to Blair, or to their baby. He needed them, just like oxygen or water or food. He needed Blair in his life, and he wanted this baby, their baby.

If he was honest, it was ultimately the baby that brought him and Blair back together. Had it not been for the baby, he didn't think she would have even considered speaking to him. He was grateful that things have started to work out between him and Blair, and it was all due to their precious baby she was carrying.

But he was struck with thoughts of what would happen if either of them were to not survive. His thoughts turned dark, when he realized there was one thing, one common factor related to what was going wrong. Him.

It was him that killed his mother, because she was pregnant with him, because she gave birth to him. It was him that got Blair pregnant. It was his baby that she was carrying. And it was him who got Blair to have sex with him earlier, which is when all of this started to happen, when she started having pains and bleeding. It was all falling back on him. He was convinced it was his fault. And if anything happened, it would be him who is to blame. It would be his fault. If the baby didn't survive, or if Blair didn't survive, it would be his fault.

As fear, panic and guilt continued to consume his every thought and movement, for the first time he took in his surroundings.

He was sitting alone in a waiting room, in a very hard and uncomfortable chair. The walls were painted white with pale caramel beige accents, and, as far as Chuck was concerned, the walls were lined with tacky paintings.

Chuck exhaled a deep shaky breath before muttering under his breath. "How did this all happen? How could I _let_ this happen? How could I do this to Blair?" he asked himself in nothing more than a whisper as he shut his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall.

He felt the slight excess moisturize building up behind his closed eyelids, so he squeezed his eyes shut even tighter. Chuck Bass did not cry, and he wasn't going to start now. Plus, he didn't even know if anything was wrong with Blair or the baby. For all he knew, they were both fine. But it was the not knowing that was slowly driving him insane.

He wasn't sure how long he had been sitting there waiting to find out how the two most important people in his life were. It could have been thirty minutes, or thirty hours for all he knew. All he knew was that it felt like forever, and that if he had to wait much longer, he was going to punch the wall or demand to see Blair one way or the other.

As if on cue, he heard footsteps approach him, so he opened his eyes to see a doctor walking towards him, so he stood up when the middle aged male doctor got close to him.

"Mr. Bass?" he asked in his deep voice. Chuck nodded. "I have some news concerning the young lady you brought in."

**Gossip Girl here. News is, is that Chuck Bass was spotted carrying a distressed and pained looking Queen B out to the limo. What did you do now, C? Where were they headed, you ask? Rumor has it they may have been headed to the hospital, and I'm headed for more info. You'll know when I know.**

**xoxo,  
-Gossip Girl**

**------------------------------------------**

**Okay, so here's the deal. I WAS going to stick to my promise and reveal the fate of Blair and the baby in this chapter, like I said in the little teaser at the end of the last chapter, but I realized that I really needed to make Chuck's feelings and thoughts known in this situation, because like I said above...it's important to the story. So...I'm bad, and I'm mean and I'm making you wait until the next chapter to find out what's going on with Blair and the baby. Because if I put it all into this chapter...my God, it would have been ridiculously long. So that's why I cut it off where I did with this chapter.**

**Anyways, with that said...I'm not going to be too mean. I'm already working on the next chapter, and depending on the response to this chapter, I may even post the next chapter tomorrow or the day after already. So...please review, feel free to let me know what you think of Chuck's current frame of mind.**

**And yay, you are all so super sweet! I think the last chapter got the 2nd most reviews that this story has gotten for each of the chapters. So thank you VERY much to everyone who reviewed! I love the reviews, so please keep them coming so I know that there's still interest and that I'm not boring you with this story. Plus, I do get motivated to write faster when I get a lot of reviews. It's inspiring, lol.**

**Oh! And I wanted to ask you all something, too. And it's _not_ a hint about what will happen, I'm just very curious about something. One review from Teddy Bear said that they thought if Blair lost the baby that they felt the story would lose its drive. I'm not critizing your review, Teddy Bear, and I very much appreciate your review =). I'm just curious to see how many people agree with that. I'm just asking for your opinions based on curiousity, because I wouldn't think it would lose its drive if that were to happen, but I could obviously also be wrong. So that's why I'm wondering what you all think, and if you agree with Teddy Bear. So when you review, feel free to let me know, because like I said, I'm very curious about that.**

**[Sorry this rant is so long]**

**Coming up....the fate of Blair and the baby [for real this time, I promise], and Blair and Chuck's reaction to the news. Will it be good news, or bad?**


	12. Fate Of It All

**Okay, so I'm being nice and not making you wait too long for this chapter. So...here you go, the chapter where you finally find out the fate of Blair and the baby.**

**I read it over before putting it up, but if I missed any mistakes, I apologize.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, not Gossip Girl or the characters.**

**-------------------------------------------------------**

**Chapter 12**

"Mr. Bass?" he asked in his deep voice. Chuck nodded. "I have some news concerning the young lady you brought in."

"Is she okay?" Chuck interrupted anxiously.

"She's okay physically," the dark haired doctor explained tentatively.

Relief washed over Chuck at the realization that Blair was okay. Even though something seemed off about the doctor's answer. But he was also anxious to find out how the baby was doing, now that he at least knew Blair was okay.

"And the baby?" Chuck asked slightly frantically.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Bass," the doctor began, but Chuck cut him off.

"What do you mean you're sorry?" he nearly shouted, his teeth clenched together.

"The baby didn't survive. Ms. Waldorf had a miscarriage. There was nothing we could do. I'm sorry, Mr. Bass," the doctor explained gently, giving a symapthetic look.

Chuck's head was spinning. He couldn't make sense of the information he had just been given. The baby was gone? "Is that what you meant by Blair being okay physically?" Chuck asked in a voice just above a whisper.

"Yes," the doctor confirmed. "Physically, she's okay. She's awake now. She should be well soon, and back to normal. However emotionally, I don't think she's doing so well."

"Of course she's not doing well! How do you expect her to be doing?" Chuck nearly yelled at the middle aged man. "What room is she in?"

"132," he said quickly.

If the doctor said anything else, Chuck didn't hear him. He was already running through the halls trying to get to Blair's room as fast as his feet would carry him. He was still having trouble grasping what had happened. He didn't want to accept that their baby was gone. The idea of it, the mere thought of it brought tears to his eyes, which he fought to control. It was his fault. And it was also his fault that he had caused Blair pain.

He found room 132, and stood outside the closed door, unable to go in for a minute. He didn't know what to say to Blair. He wanted to see her, he needed to see her, to make sure she was as okay as the doctor had said. But he didn't know what to expect. He didn't know what would happen when he walked through that door and faced the girl he secretly loved, whom he had caused so much pain. It was his fault she was pregnant in the first place, and then she had a miscarriage, which caused her even more pain. And the only person to blame for all of it was him.

Realizing that Blair was more important than his own guilt, or any of his own fears, he took a deep breath and pushed the large door open.

Blair was laying on the oversized hospital bed curled into a ball, with her knees pulled to her chest, and her back to the door. He could hear her quiet cries.

"Blair?" he called softly, tentatively.

"What do you want, Chuck?" she asked him bitterly as she pulled herself up into more of a sitting position on the bed.

"I wanted to see you, to see how you're doing," he explained as he walked closer to the bed, shutting the large door in the process.

"Oh, I'm just fan-freaking-tastic," she told him sarcastically as a tear rolled down her cheek. "How do you think I'm doing?" she snapped at him.

Chuck didn't know how to respond. He didn't know what to expect when he walked into the room, but he hadn't fully expected Blair to react this way to him, either.

"I know you're upset, Blair, but --" Chuck began, but Blair cut him off.

"I'm upset? Of course I'm upset, you Basshole! Just get out!" she screamed at him as more tears rolled down her pale cheeks.

"Blair--" he tried again, but again she cut him off.

"What? It's for the best, right? I'm not pregnant now, so I can go to Yale, and you don't have to feel obligated to be anywhere near me, you can go back to your whores. We don't have to worry about Gossip Girl finding out, or about telling our parents, and we can get back to our lives. That's what we both wanted, right?" she seethed, the pain evident in her eyes.

"Blair, that's not true---" Chuck tried to correct everything that was wrong with her statement, but she wouldn't let him finish.

"No, get out! Just leave me alone, Chuck! I don't want you anywhere near me. I want you gone. I want you out of my life!" she cried.

Chuck didn't know what else to do. He was hurting due to the loss of their baby, and also because evidently, she didn't want anything to do with him, she didn't want to be with him after all. The thought of those things combined made his heart want to break in two. He didn't want her to believe the things she seemed to believe. But at the same time, he also didn't want to do anything to upset her, and obviously him being there was upsetting her. And as much as he wanted to be with her, if she wanted him gone....then he figured he should go and respect her wishes. She deserved that much, right? He didn't want to upset her even more than she already was. He had already caused her enough pain.

"I'm sorry, Blair. I know this is all my fault. I'll....I'll let you rest," he told her solemnly as he slowly turned to walk out of the room to give her the space she seemed to want. But as he got to the door, he heard her voice.

"Chuck," she called softly, and he turned back around to face her. She looked devastated and heartbroken as tears still silently streamed down her face. He stared at her waiting for her to continue. "I lied. I don't want you out of my life," she whispered tearfully. "Will you -- will you stay with me?"

Without another word, Chuck made his way back over to Blair and took her hand before he climbed into the bed beside her and intertwined their fingers.

"I don't want to be out of your life, either. You're going to have to do a lot more than tell me to go away to get rid of me, Waldorf," he told her softly.

"I didn't mean what I said, I -- I just -- I -- I don't know. I'm just so sorry, Chuck," she sobbed.

"Why are you apologizing?" Chuck asked, confusion spreading across his strong features.

"Because I lost the baby. I lost our baby. I'm so sorry," she cried just above a whisper. "I lost the baby, just like I lose everyone else important in my life. They all go away, they all leave me. So did the baby. It's my fault that I lost the baby," she whispered as she closed her eyes, not wanting to look at Chuck. She didn't want to see how he would react, she didn't want to see how much he would hate her for losing their baby.

"Blair, look at me," he told her softly, with a hint of sternness in his voice. Hesitantly and reluctantly, she slowly opened her eyes, but avoided looking directly at him. He brought his free hand under her chin and forced her to look at him. "It is _not_ your fault, do you understand me? What happened to the baby is not your fault. The doctor said there was nothing that could have been done. There was no way to prevent it," he told her firmly, his voice still gentle as he still held her gaze. "And you don't lose everyone. You have me. I'm not going to leave you," he whispered, hoping it's what she would need to hear, and also meaning every word of it. He could have lost her again today, and he would be damned if he were to lose her again.

"Chuck," she whispered, looking down to try and avoid his gaze yet again. "You don't have to feel obligated to stick around. The baby -- the baby is....gone," she struggled to get the words out.

"I'm here because I want to be. I wanted the baby, too. I would have done anything for the baby, and for you. Plus," he continued with the faintest hint of a smile, "we're Chuck and Blair, Blair and Chuck. The worst thing you've ever done, the darkest thought you've ever had - I will stand by you through anything."

The tears welling up in Blair's eyes and her eyes grew bigger at the realization that he remembered her words from the day of his father's funeral. "You -- you remember that?" she whispered as her tears spilled over her bottom lashes.

He nodded, and brought their intertwined fingers up to kiss her hand.

She wasn't sure if it was just his gentleness, or the fact that he was being so genuine, so nice, so...comforting and it was overwhelming her, or just the fact of everything that had happened in the last few hours, but she started sobbing, her body shaking with each sob.

He was being so gentle with her. He was being much kinder to her than she deserved. And he was there with her, he said he would stay. He even remembered what she had said to him all those months ago. But he hadn't repeated one part of her speech to him that day. He didn't tell her he loves her. But he was here, and he didn't want to leave. That meant that he cared, right?

She tried to convince herself not to look into it too much, and tried to make herself focus on the fact that he does care about her. He wouldn't be here if he didn't. But she knew it must hurt him, and especially disappoint him for her to have lost his baby. She wasn't even good enough to carry a child. She wasn't good enough to do anything. She wasn't good enough for anyone.

"Blair?" Chuck asked quietly, his free arm wrapping around her instinctively as her body continued to shake with sobs.

"I'm sorry I wasn't enough, that I wasn't good enough," she whispered between sobs as she buried her face against his shoulder.

She couldn't make sense of half of her thoughts. She was falling apart, and every single fear and insecurity she had concerning herself was rising to the surface, and she couldn't control it. She couldn't control her emotions or her insecurities and fears from coming out. She just cried into Chuck's shoulder as he held her close to him.

"What are you talking about?" he asked in a confused tone, his eyebrows furrowing.

"I'm never good enough! Not for my mom, not for Nate. I wasn't enough to handle the pregnancy, I wasn't enough for the baby! And I won't be enough for you..." she whispered, trailing off, tears still rolling down her cheeks.

"You are enough for me, Blair. You are the only girl who's given me butterflies, and as much as I tried to murder them, as per your orders, it never worked. They never went away. I want you, Blair, because you are more than enough for me. I haven't been with any other girl since we were together after my father's funeral because you were enough for me. You were all I wanted," he confessed softly.

"I want you, too, Chuck," she murmured as her eyelids became heavy, the roughness of the day taking its toll on her.

As Blair drifted off to sleep, Chuck was silently grateful that she was asleep because his thoughts were consuming his mind, and what had happened was getting to him. He knew what happened to the baby and to Blair was his fault. And his heart broke at that realization. But what caused him the most pain was the knowledge of how deeply Blair was hurting. He was hurting as well, but with what happened, it was bringing every fear and insecurity of Blair's to the surface and it was tearing her apart. He didn't want that for her, for her to fall apart. He just wanted her to be okay. And the other main thing that caused his heart to ache was the fact that the baby, their beloved baby was gone.

As he held Blair's sleeping form in his arms, their hands still connected and their fingers still intertwined, Chuck's emotions overwhelmed him, causing him to do something Chuck Bass never did. He cried.

**Sources say that our favorite Queen and her new King did indeed go to the hospital. But for what, you wonder? That I have yet to find out.**

xoxo,  
-Gossip Girl

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**Okay, so I really hope that those of you who were really against Blair losing the baby will trust me with where I'm going with this story. I realized a while ago that in all the stories I've read with Blair being pregnant that...her actually losing the baby was something that usually wasn't touched. So, that got me thinking about what would happen if that were to happen. Also..the story is called Drowning In Fear, and so far, there hasn't been too much in the story that goes along with the title or the summary I gave, but this is where that kicks in. Now we're dealing with Chuck's feelings concerning what happened, and...now he and Blair have to deal with this. But the question is, how will they deal with it?**

**Obviously they still have a lot to talk about, and a lot to deal with. I'm almost done the next chapter already [I was on a roll with writing last night]. So you won't have to wait too long for the next chapter.**

**Coming up...how will Chuck and Blair continue to deal with things, especially once they're able to leave the hospital? Will they deal with it well, or badly? What emotions will it bring to the surface?**

**But anyways, I do hope you all continue to read this story, even if you were hoping for a different outcome with this chapter. And please please review, feel free to leave your thoughts and comments. I hope you feel I at least did this chapter justice. I'm very anxious to find out your thoughts on this chapter.**


	13. Water Filled Truths

**Okay, I just want to voice one little observation. I noticed that for the last chapter which told the fate of Blair and the baby...there weren't too many reviews compared to other chapters. The chapter before it, focusing on Chuck's thoughts on everything got twice as many. I hope that's not because some of you have lost interest due to the direction I took the story in. I hope you trust me or have some faith in me and this story, and are still reading. **

**And for those of you who are still reading the story, and also for those of you who reviewed and are supportive - it means so much to me, so thank you!! **

**I read it over before putting it up, but I apologize for any mistakes I may have missed.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl or any of the characters. If I did, I think there may have been more than just holding hands in last night's episode.**

**-------------------------------------------------------**

**Chapter 13**

After having to stay overnight for observation to be on the safe side, Blair was released from the hospital late in the afternoon the following day. Chuck had stayed with her the whole time, just as he said he would.

It was her first day being able to go home - except she didn't want to go home. She had wanted to go to Chuck's place. Thinking better of it, they decided to go to Chuck's suite, to avoid anyone asking any questions.

After getting back, Chuck was quite wary. He was convinced that since their conversation the previous night at the hospital, that Blair was trying to put on a brave face, and that she was just keeping everything in. He didn't fully buy it, and her trying to keep it all in concerned him. He's seen what's happened to her in the past when she's kept everything in. It lead to her bulimia.

"Do you want to lay down for a while?" Chuck asked her, taking note of the dark circles under her eyes.

She shook her head. "No, I'm fine. I'm not tired," she told him as she took a seat on the couch.

"Do you want something to eat, then? We could eat lunch, I can order us some room service. What do you want?" he asked, going to take a seat next to her on the couch.

"Nothing. I'm not hungry."

"Blair, you need to at least eat something," he tried coaxing her, and placed his hand over hers, which she had resting on her leg.

"Chuck, I don't want anything. I'm not hungry," she said stiffly, pulling her hand out from under his.

He took his hand from her leg and put it under her chin to gently turn her head so that she was looking at him. "It's okay to be upset," he told her softly, looking into her chocolate brown eyes.

"I'm fine," she tried to convince him as she averted her eyes. "I just -- I just want to go have a shower," she said as she rose to her feet and started heading in the direction of the bathroom.

"Okay, I'll be out here when you're done," he assured her as he eyed her, trying to decipher whether or not she was truly okay.

********************

As soon as she closed the bathroom door behind herself, tears sprung to her eyes.

She slowly undressed, and examined herself in the mirror, placing a hand over her abdomen, wishing she would still be able to feel that beautiful fluttering feeling she had felt the other night when she felt the baby move.

She placed a hand over her mouth in order to stiffle the sound of her cries at that thought. Even though it wasn't the ideal time, or the most ideal situation, she had been happy about being pregnant, despite all of her fears. And now that was all gone. Now the baby was gone. Whatever hope she had had about everything being okay in her life was slowly fading away the more she thought about the fact that her baby, hers and Chuck's baby was gone.

She almost wished she felt nauseous again. She wished for the morning sickness. She wished for the tiredness. She wished for anything that meant that she was still pregnant, and that what had happened was nothing more than a nightmare. But she knew those wishes wouldn't come true. The baby was gone, and she was no longer pregnant.

She looked at her own tear stained face for one more second before she could no longer bare the sight of her own sorrow.

Biting her bottom lip in attempt to muffle the sound of her crying, she tuned the water on in the shower and climbed in, letting the stream of water hit her face and run down her aching body.

The water was hot on her skin. Too hot, but she refused to make it any cooler. She wanted it to be hot. She wanted it to melt away all of the sadness and anguish that she held within her. She wanted it to wash away everything that she felt.

****************

Chuck still felt just as guilty about what had happened. That hadn't eased away any since the night he had cried holding Blair's sleeping form.

He still blamed himself for what happened. Just like it was his fault with what happened to his mother. He had caused that. It was because of him that she had died. And it was because he had gotten Blair pregnant that this had happened. And it's because of what had happened that Blair was in so much pain.

And try as she might to hide it, to pretend that everything was okay, he seen through it. He seen through her, just like he always could. He knows her better than he knows himself. And he knows that Blair is hurting, and that she is just trying to hide it. She's putting on some kind of a brave front, a mask. And if anyone knows something about masks, it's him.

He himself was quite upset, but he kept himself in check, never spilling a single tear after last night in the hospital, nor did he plan to again. He needed to be strong for Blair, and if it was the last thing he would do, he was going to get her through this, since he was the one who caused all of this.

Pulling himself out of his thoughts, Chuck called for room service. He didn't know what Blair might be willing to eat, so he ordered a few things that he knows she likes. All he was interested in having was some scotch. The previous day's events had taken its toll on him, and he wanted something, anything to numb the guilt, and the pain, the ache that presided in his heart, and throughout his whole body.

He thought of calling Serena to tell her what had happened, but then he thought better of it. When Blair wants Serena to know, Blair will tell her. He wasn't willing to do anything to upset Blair even more, and he figured Serena could wait until Blair was ready to tell her.

After deciding against calling his step-sister, he decided to make himself useful and had unpacked some of Blair's things for her, putting some of her clothes into the closet so they wouldn't wrinkle, and setting aside some of her toiletries.

But when he was done setting out her things, he realized that Blair had been in the shower for quite a while, for close to an hour. She was taking a long time, and he was starting to wonder if something was wrong.

He made his way over to the bathroom door and knocked softly. "Blair?" he called her hesitantly. When he got no answer, he tried again. "Blair, are you okay?"

Still getting no response, he opened the door and carefully let himself in, not wanting to invade her privacy, but also needing to make sure that she was okay.

"Blair?" he called again before he was completely inside the bathroom. Again, she didn't respond, so he went all the way in and shut the door behind him. When he turned around towards the shower, he was faced with a heartbreaking sight.

Blair sat on the floor of the tub gently rocking herself back and forth, silently sobbing. Her arms were wrapped around her knees pulling them to her chest, and sitting there soaking wet as the overly hot water continued to stream down on her and turn her pale skin pink from the heat.

She looked up at him, her eyes flooded with tears, and full of pain.

Without thinking twice, Chuck stepped into the shower, blocking her from the stream of water, and bent down to gather her in his arms. He stepped out of the shower, and gently placed her on her feet, and grabbed a large towel to wrap around her tiny shaking body.

She was stiff from grasping her knees into her chest so hard for almost an hour, so she made no attempt to move. Chuck, seeing that she wasn't going to move on her own, yet again picked up her frail body in his arms and carried her out to the bed, gently sitting her down on the edge of the bed.

He kneeled down in front of her so that they would be at the same level, even though she sat staring off into the distance, her eyes unfocused.

"Blair?" he asked, trying to get her attention. She turned to look at him, her eyes slowly focusing on him. "Hey," he murmured. "Lets get you into some clothes before you get cold, okay?". She didn't attempt to respond, she just nodded meekly.

It was then that he realized how different this situation was. Usually he would be trying to get a girls clothes off. Yet here he was, helping Blair put clothing on. He knew their relationship was beyond just sex. It had been more than that from the beginning, even if neither of them realized it at first. If it were any other girl, he wouldn't care about their mood, about how they were doing, about how they were feeling, and he sure as hell wouldn't be helping them get dressed. But Blair Waldorf was never one to follow the rest. No, she always stood out, she always made her own way. Just like she had carved her own way into his heart. The same heart he had kept so guarded, and fought so hard not to let anyone in. But she was different, she was special, and there was no denying the fact that he without a doubt loved her.

So he helped the broken girl he loved into one of his shirts, thinking it would be far more comfortable than any of the form-fitted clothing she had brought for herself. It hung down to her knees, with the sleeves hanging over her hands, and she swam in the largeness of the shirt, looking like a small child playing dress up with their parents clothing.

Without a word, she climbed into the bed and curled up into a ball on her side, with her back to him.

Chuck was unsure of what to do for a moment, not sure how to help her. He was no good at this, at comforting someone, at consoling someone, at...loving someone. Especially after he was the one to hurt them. So he settled for placing his hand on her arm, feeling the chill to her skin, despite the scalding water she had been sitting in before.

It was as he was lifting the blanket up to cover her that she finally spoke.

"I'm damaged." Her voice was so quiet, barely even a whisper that he was unsure if he had even heard her speak.

"What did you just say?" he commanded in a whisper, wanting to be sure he heard her right. Her tone had been so quiet he didn't want to speak much louder.

"I'm damaged. I'm damaged goods," she told him again, this time with a bit more assertion to her words.

He was stunned by what he heard, his brows furrowing. What she was saying made no sense to him. "No, you're Blair Waldorf. You're the epitome of perfection. From your hair, to your clothes, to your face, your grades...right down to your magnificent knack for manipulation and social destruction," he said with a bit of pride shining through with his last addition to the list.

"No, I'm the girl who had bulimia, the girl who is never good enough for her mother, the girl who can't even keep her boyfriend from cheating on her with her best friend, the girl who can't even get a guy to want to spend the summer with her in Tuscany...and I'm the girl who can't even carry a child," she ranted with more strength in her voice now, not even pausing for a breath. She sighed, still refusing to turn around and look at Chuck as she continued. "And I'm supposed to be able to. A woman's body is meant to be able to carry a baby, to give birth. And my body, my disgusting damaged body could only carry a baby for eleven weeks. Eleven weeks, Chuck! I'm not perfect, I'm _damaged_," she concluded, emphasizing the last word with so much venom and resentment.

She knew she was losing it, that all of her carefully constructed walls were all down right now, but she was past the point of caring. Chuck had seen her as a mess before, in fact, he was one of the few people who had enough of an affect on her to cause her to become a mess. So as she lay there now, she could care less if he seen her like this, if she said what she actually felt instead of guarding her every weakness. It's not like it would matter much soon, since he would leave her now that he had no reason to stay, now that there was no baby. She killed his only family. It was only a matter of time before he left, despite what he had said to her the other night. And Chuck Bass didn't deal well with emotions, so if her letting all of her true feelings out right now helped scare him off sooner rather than later, she was glad, because the longer he stayed, the more it would hurt when he finally did leave her.

After realizing Chuck still had not spoken after her speech, she cautiously turned to look at him. His expression surprised her. He looked angry. She had expected him to look shocked, or scared, or confused, but instead he was staring down at her looking angry.

"What?" she asked, feigning innocence, and also being confused by his expression and wanting an explanation.

"You are not damaged. You are Blair Waldorf, you are perfect, and you're mine," he stated matter of factly, trying to keep his emotions in check. He couldn't believe she thought so little of herself. He had always seen her as beautiful, as put together and, well, perfect. He truly felt that she was perfect, and that she was also his perfect match, right down to their scheming ways.

Now it was her turn to get angry, but also slightly sad at the thought, wishing his words were true. "I am not yours, Chuck. I'm not your anything. You are not my boyfriend," she spit the words at him much like he had to her after his father's funeral.

She didn't fully know what they were still. They had never gotten to talk about it.

Even though Chuck knew they had yet to completely discuss the status of their relationship, he still thought she would be more confident in their relationship, which caused him to ask his next question. "And what exactly are we?" he asked, hoping to get inside of her head.

"I don't know, Chuck. You couldn't keep it in your tacky looking pants long enough for us to finish discussing that," she retorted. She was glad he was getting irritated, she hoped it would make him back off the subject once he became fed up with it.

"Correct me if I'm wrong," Chuck began, trying to keep his rising anger under wraps, "but you were the one who climbed on top of me," he said, his voice low, his eyes burning into hers with a certain kind of fierceness.

"You could have been a gentleman, something I know you're not usually capable of being, and you could have said no," she told him icily.

That struck something in Chuck. He realized she was right. He could have said no...but he didn't.

"You're right," he said in a much calmer, quiet tone, now averting his gaze. "I could have said no. But unfortunately I didn't. And I deeply regret my actions," he said in a remorseful tone.

His words stung Blair, and made her heart ache in a completely different way than it already was. As much as she wanted to push him away, convinced he would leave, and that she was just trying to make things easier on herself, she was still hurt by his words, because she had been secretly hoping she was wrong, and that he had meant what he said and wouldn't leave. His words cut her. He regretted what happened that night. He regretted sleeping with her. She wasn't enough after all.

Her mind started racing, wondering if his words that night had been a lie, about him not being with anyone else. Or maybe he just thought he wanted her, and now that he had had her, now that she had slept with him...the interest, the infatuation was gone. Maybe she was just another conquest after all.

New tears sprung to her eyes as the various meanings behind his words drove an invisible knife into her heart. When she spoke, her words came out in a shaky whisper.

"You regret us being together that night?"

****

Looks like our Queen B left the hospital after an overnight visit. It seems as though her stay is being kept under wraps. So what's under your wraps, B?

xoxo,  
-Gossip Girl

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**Hope this chapter didn't disappoint. I was actually really anxious to write part of this chapter, for some reason. Anyways, as you can see, Blair's not handling things too well. She's very confused and conflicted. She's trying to hide it, but Chuck sees through it, and she's angry with herself and blaming herself. And of course, she's trying to push Chuck away so that she won't get hurt as much. She's obviously lost her faith/trust in things being okay and working out. Anyways, enough of me recaping/explaining. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, despite it being sad, and I hope it didn't disappointment. I'm looking forward to writing the next chapter...and I also apologize for leaving the chapter off where I did, but it was necessary =). One, it was getting too long [I could be wrong, but I think it may be the longest chapter so far], and two...sometimes you just need a bit of a cliffhanger.**

**Coming up...did Chuck really regret them sleeping together? Is he changing his mind about everything? How will Blair react? And them talking about what happened with the baby isn't over yet, either. **

**Anyways, pretty please review and let me know what you think! I really love getting to hear your thoughts and opinions, so please review! It motivates me to write the next chapter faster, and plus, I'd also like to see how many people are still interested in this story [I'm curious because of the fewer reviews from the last chapter].**


	14. More Accidental Truths

**Sorry this chapter took a little longer than I expected. I had an original idea of how I wanted this chapter to turn out, but as I began writing, it started to change my original idea a bit...so I was trying to figure out the best way to do it. Anyways, now you finally get to find out if Chuck regrets being with Blair!**

**First off, thank you for all of the amazing reviews, I'm glad there's still interest in this story! And I also just wanted to say this, since the review was anonymous, Lily, I just wanted to say I'm sorry you're going through that.**

**I read it over before putting it up, but if I missed any mistakes...I'm sorry!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl or any of the characters...if I did, Chuck wouldn't have told Blair it was just a game and would have told her he loves her. Though at the same time, you can't help but love the fact that in his own way, he's being sweet, he's wanting to do what's best for her, since he thinks he can't make her happy [so untrue, might I add, and he so needs to tell her]. Back to the point..I don't own GG.**

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**Chapter 14**

Chuck looked at her ambivalently, his mouth set in a hard line.

"You regret us being together that night," she repeated, this time as a statement, not as a question.

"Blair," he began, but she cut him off.

"No!" she shrieked, her emotions making her lose control completely, as she roughly used the back of her hand to wipe her fallen tears off her cheeks.

"Blair," he tried again, searching her face, trying to figure out how to make her understand. When she didn't interrupt him, he took that as a good sign. "Do I regret being with you? No. Do I regret us sleeping together? Yes," he said quietly, carefully watching her face for her reaction.

She didn't know what he was trying to say, and it wasn't helping her calm down any. As much as she suddenly wanted to be emotionless, to make this hurt less, she couldn't. It all hurt. Everything hurt. Because of the baby, and now because of Chuck. And he wasn't even making any sense. He doesn't regret being with her, but regrets them sleeping together. It wasn't making sense to Blair.

"What the hell does that mean?" she asked as anger and slight confusion crossed her delicate features.

"It means," Chuck began, his voice more controlled, more soft now. "That this, whatever we are, I like being with you. I don't regret getting to be with you," he explained, and he seen her features soften slightly, only a hint of confusion remaining, so he continued. "But I do regret that I slept with you that night, Blair, and I'm sorry that I did."

Blair became angry at his last words, saying he was sorry for sleeping with her. He had wanted it, she hadn't imagined that. He had been all to pleased, although surprised, when she had suddenly straddled him that night. He had also said he hadn't been with anyone since her, and they hadn't been together like that in months, so there's no way he could have been unhappy finally being able to. He had said she was enough, but maybe she really wasn't. Maybe this was all some twisted game to him.

"Enough with the games, Chuck," she managed to choke out with a hint of venom laced in her voice as she blinked to fight back more tears. "Either you want me, or you don't, and either I'm enough for you, or I'm not. So which is it?" she asked, but her voice cracked at the end, giving her away.

Chuck froze, realizing what his words were doing to Blair. Although he hadn't meant to hurt her with his words, he realized now that he was making her question everything. Herself, her self-worth, him, and his feelings for her. He silently cursed himself for yet again hurting her.

"I regret sleeping with you. Not because I didn't want to. I regret not saying no, because if I hadn't slept with you, maybe none of this would have happened. Maybe then...you wouldn't have lost the baby," he spoke quietly, looking up into her eyes.

"Just say it, Chuck! Say you blame me for losing the baby," she fumed, overcome with a sudden wave of rage. She felt guilty, and she already blamed herself. She knew it was her fault, and she knew he must feel that way, too. She wanted him to just admit it already.

"I don't blame you," he said quietly with a hint of sternness, his eyes never leaving hers. After a second, he quickly looked down at his hands, and spoke. "I blame myself."

"Wha -- what?" Blair stuttered, her eyes focused intently on Chuck. She didn't understand how he could be blaming himself. She was the one who lost the baby. It was her fault. "How can you possibly be thinking this is your fault?"

"Because I slept with you!" his voice rose, and he quickly stood to his feet at the foot of the bed. "If I wasn't such a selfish ass, if I had just said no to you, then maybe everything would be okay right now. Maybe _you_ would be okay right now. You're hurting because of me, Blair. I did this," he said in a slightly lower tone.

As bad as Blair felt for Chuck, for not only losing his child, but now finding out that he blamed himself for what happened, her emotions were still all over the place, and she was lashing out, whether she wanted to or not. Her emotions had taken over every part of her being, since she found out about the baby, the time has felt like nothing but a blur.

"What you're doing now is what's hurting me, Chuck. You're blaming yourself. You regret something that I was happy about -- I was happy that we slept together. I was _happy _about that, Chuck," she told him in a shrill and saddened voice.

Chuck paused, his eyes slightly pained. No matter what, he always hurt her. No matter what, he always made her unhappy. It wasn't fair to her. He couldn't make her happy, and he couldn't seem to stop hurting her. "It seems that as much as I love you, I keep hurting you some way or another. All of this is my doing," he stated dejectedly.

Blair was astounded at what she had just heard. She must have heard wrong. There was no way Chuck Bass would say those words to her, those words she had been waiting to hear for so long. He wouldn't express his feelings that way, he just wouldn't. "What did you just say?" she asked, disbelief clouding her thoughts.

Chuck stopped mid-thought, pursing his lips and thought back to what he had just said. 'It seems that as much as I love you...'. He hadn't meant to say that, he hadn't even realized he had said it. It had slipped out in a moment of thoughtlessness. None the less, however, it was true. He had never brought himself to say those words to her before, but that never made them any less true. In fact, he had been hoping to be able to tell her those words at some point in the near future, but he had been unable to figure out how. He accused himself of being a coward lacking courage. He already knew how she felt, yet he still hadn't been able to say the words to her.

He let out a sigh, realizing that despite the un-ideal timing, it was better it finally came out now. Besides, when was anything concerning their relationship ideal, or perfectly timed. He exhaled loudly, trying to gain the courage he needed. "I said I love you, Blair."

Her head spun. He couldn't be serious. Or maybe she was dreaming, or maybe she truly has lost her mind. There's no way he could possibly mean that. She wouldn't allow herself to believe that. "No, Bass, you don't," she said in a stern accusing whisper.

"Yes, Waldorf, I do," he said with conviction in his voice, his eyes locked on hers.

"No, you don't," she said again. "I must be dreaming..." she muttered to herself.

Chuck took three long strides to kneel in front of her by the bed, their faces now on the same level and only inches apart. "You're not dreaming. I didn't mean to tell you like this, but I mean it, Blair," he paused. "I do love you," he spoke softly, his eyes roaming every inch of her face, taking this moment into memory.

After getting no response from Blair, aside from a few single tears sliding down her porcelain cheeks due to being in shock and disbelief, Chuck spoke again in a whisper. "I hate seeing you this unhappy, and in this much pain. And I hate knowing that I'm the cause of all of it...that I'm the reason you're hurting."

This finally caused Blair to speak. "You - you're not the reason. The reason is that I lost the baby. That I'm that much of a failure, and that...I'm not enough good enough to do that, to even carry a baby. And I hate knowing that I hurt you by losing the baby, by losing...what family you had left..." she trailed off in a whisper, as a feeling of self-loathing crept in.

"I have you," he said as he reached his hand up to place it over hers, which sat on top of the blanket she had around her, scunching the fabric into her small fist.

"I'm a mess, Chuck," she told him in a shaky breath, as though that was reason enough that he should want nothing to do with her.

"So am I. And when I was a mess after my father's funeral," he explained, wincing at the memory and the pain that accompanied it, "you took care of me. Now I'm going to take care of you," he told her without hesitation, even though he had no idea in hell how to even begin to take care of her. It was out of his comfort zone, but he would be damned if he sat around and did nothing to help her.

"And why would you do that?" she asked, her eyes staring intently into his.

"Because I love you," he told her again, much like she had the day she spoke those same words to him.

At his words, more tears welled up in Blair's chocolate brown eyes. Chuck wasn't sure if they were tears of sorrow again, or also due to some form of happiness from his confession, if one could be happy in any way shape or form in a situation like this. But he decided he was going to start trying to take care of her, to be what she needs. He just told her he would, and he was going to live up to his promise, for Blair.

So he climbed onto the bed to lay behind her, pulling her back towards his chest as he wrapped his arms securely around her frail shaking frame.

They lay like that for an immesurable amount of time, neither were sure how long. It may have been minutes that passed, or even hours. Both lay there deep in thought, and being somewhat comforted by the other's presence.

"I want my baby..." Blair's voice cut through the silence, sadness lingering in her voice and her eyes.

Blair wanted her baby. And so did Chuck, but they both knew that wasn't possible.

**It seems as though I've finally gotten the dish on our Queen. Though she may want to order a second dish. What's the matter, B, didn't want anyone to know you were eating for two? Who's the daddy, B? Would it be the brooding Bass, your dark prince? Or former white knight Nate? **

**xoxo,  
-Gossip Girl**

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**Uh oh..so now Gossip Girl found out about the pregnancy...except obviously she didn't find out about the miscarriage. Just a little side note quick, too...if you're feeling that Blair's all over the place, and being vulnerable one minute, then just...angry and lashing out, and wanting to protect herself the next...that's not due to my indecision or lack of continuity with the characters feelings...it's just that, well, right now, as Blair said, she's a mess, so she's all over the place, so are her thoughts and feelings. Also...please don't be too disappointed about Blair's lack of response to Chuck's "I love you"! Like I said, she's all over the place right now, so...it just wasn't fitting for her to have much of a response, she was too shocked and has too much going on. Don't worry, though, that issue will definitely be brought back into focus later on.**

**Coming up...how will Blair and Chuck, along with others react to the latest Gossip Girl blast? Will Chuck open up more about everything that's going on? And hmm...is Chuck planning something?**

**Pretty please review and let me know what you thought! I hope this chapter wasn't a disappointment. And remember...reviews encourage and motivate me to write faster..and the faster I write, the faster you find out how everyone will react to the GG blast =b.**


	15. Breakfast Club With A Secret

**Okay, so I know it's been a while since I've updated, but...I couldn't figure out how I wanted part of this chapter to go. However, to make up for me taking so long to update, the chapter is extra longer, at least. **

**Also, to those of you who did review the last chapter...thank you very much, and I'm dedicating this chapter to you, since otherwise, I may not have updated if it wasn't for your reviews, lol. Because the last chapter got the fewest ever reviews for all of the chapters so far of this story. I'm not sure if that's due to lack of interest, or people just weren't in the reviewing mood, though I thought people would be a bit excited about Chuck finally admitting his feelings. So anyways...if you're still interested, let me know. And...for those who did review last time, this chapter is dedicated to you. Hopefully it doesn't disappoint.**

**I read it over before putting it up, so for any mistakes that I missed, I apologize.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl, Chuck, or Blair or any other characters. But I am estatic that they finally got Chuck and Blair together, and Chuck finally said those three words!!**

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**Chapter 15**

Chuck Bass awoke the next morning to an irritating buzzing sound, coming from the night stand by the bed. Trying to jostle the sleeping Blair as little as possible, he reached over and answered his cell phone.

"Hello?" he asked gruffly, his eyes still ridden with sleep.

"Chuck, thanks for _finally_ answering your phone," Serena said in irritation. "Oh my God, how is Blair handling it?"

Chuck's mind instantly woke up, trying to sort through Serena's words. She sounded very concerned, and worried about Blair. However, she didn't know about Blair's miscarriage, so he couldn't make sense of her words and decided to play coy. "What are you talking about, sis?"

"The Gossip Girl blast..." she trailed off, waiting for Chuck to realize what she was talking about. When realization didn't hit, she continued. "Haven't you seen what's on Gossip Girl?"

He pulled the phone away from his ear and sorted through his messages on his phone, and sure enough, found one that read 'It seems as though I've finally gotten the dish on our Queen. Though she may want to order a second dish. What's the matter, B, didn't want anyone to know you were eating for two? Who's the daddy, B? Would it be the brooding Bass, your dark prince? Or former white knight Nate?'. Chuck's eyes went wide, and chagrin instantly set in, his eyes narrowing at the blast.

"I've seen it now," he spoke into the phone again, his voice utterly displeased, and each word spoken very deliberately.

"So she hasn't seen it yet?" she asked.

"No, she hasn't, and I don't want her to see it. Not yet," he told Serena pointedly. It was bad enough half of their secret was now out, the part Blair had fought so hard to keep for months. He knew it would crush Blair, especially since that was only half of the story, and it was the missing half that was the most devastating.

"Chuck, she's going to end up seeing it sometime," Serena practically whined, thinking it would be best for her brunette best friend to see this sooner rather than later.

"Not now," Chuck's words were spoken so slowly, and with such a subdued force that it made them seem menacing.

"I'm coming over, Chuck. I know you're at your suite. I'm coming over to see Blair and talk about the blast. She needs to know, Chuck," Serena persisted, now determined.

"Serena, no. You don't even know what --" he stopped mid-sentence as he realized Serena had hung up on him, probably already on her way over here. "Damn it," he cursed to himself.

Blair shifted slightly in his arms, his attention automatically refocusing back to her immediately, as he gently brushed a stray piece of hair from her troubled face, causing her eyes to flutter open.

"Hi," he whispered, finding 'good morning' to be inappropriate, given the situation. In response, she just gave a small nod, before resting her head back on his chest. "Blair..." he began, which caused her to look up at him, only stirring slightly to remain laying on his chest, giving him her attention. "There's a little...problem," he struggled for words, which Blair noticed. He was not usually one to have issues forming fully articulated sentences.

She gave him a questioning look, while he took one of his hands and rubbed it over his stressed face. If Serena planned to show up and tell Blair about the blast, hell would break lose that he had kept it from her in the first place, and he felt it was better coming from him, so with a sigh, he finally continued. "Gossip Girl sent out a blast," he paused to gauge her reaction, but all she did was widen her eyes slightly. "She found out about the pregnancy. She sent out a blast saying you are pregnant". Blair's mouth gaped open slightly now, horror struck, which caused Chuck to quickly add more. "She doesn't -- she doesn't know about what happened, though," he almost trailed off to a whisper, his eyes locking on hers.

"What are we going to do?" she asked in a quiet, sad tone as the information sunk in. Everyone knew. Everyone knew she had been pregnant. Which means now everyone would know that she was a failure, that she wasn't good enough. They would know just how broken and pathetic she really was. She blinked back the excess moisture that was beginning to pool in her eyes.

"We'll figure it out," he told her gently, embracing her tiny body a little closer to him as he spoke, his thumb unconsciously stroking her arm in a soothing manner. "Serena's also on her way over, since she seen the blast," he told her. "She doesn't know that anything happened. I was going to let you tell her when you were ready, but she insisting on coming here. I told her not to come, but she hung up on me".

"Oh," was all Blair said, her mind spinning. She wasn't sure if she could handle telling Serena. Hell, even just talking to Chuck about it exhausted her, and caused her so much pain, she wasn't even sure how to deal with it. Could she really handle Serena knowing, or especially, having to tell Serena what happened?

"I need to get dressed, then," she whispered before extracting herself from Chuck's arms, and instantly missing the warmth. She felt like she barely even had the stength to talk, let alone walk around. She just wanted to stay in bed all day. And as it was, Chuck finally said those three words she had wanted to hear. Now it continued to flood her mind, along with doubt after doubt. What if he only said it out of guilt, or out of some sense of obligation, and he was just claiming he meant it, all because he felt bad about the poor pathetic mess she had become. She couldn't clear her head. She couldn't even think straight.

She found one of her more casual dresses hanging in the closet, and quickly went to change into it. All the while, Chuck remained seated on the bed, his own mind swirling with thoughts. Blair had gone from tearful and screaming last night, to suddenly just...quiet. Quiet in a very un-Blair like kind of way. He wasn't sure if her quiet and calm demeanor was a good or bad sign compared to her reactions the night before.

His thoughts were interrupted as Blair emerged from the bathroom, now fully changed, her eyes almost just a blank stare. Just as he was about to ask her if she was okay, there was a knock at the door.

Chuck groaned, and rose from his spot to answer the door, realizing that Serena must be there already. However, as he pulled the door open, he stood there in surprise.

There stood Nate, with an axious look on his face, and upon seeing Chuck, his eyes narrowed.

"Is it true?" Nate barked as he attempted to push past Chuck to gain access into the suite. But Chuck blocked him, trying to keep Blair from having to deal with yet another person today.

"Is what true, Nathaniel?" Chuck asked coolly, keeping his composure.

"Did you get Blair pregnant?" Nate asked through clenched teeth. Despite what happened between him and Blair, he still cared about her, and after all, Chuck was also his best friend. But for them to be so careless, or for them to get themselves into a situation like this, it was irresponsible. And if Chuck got Blair pregnant, Nate was going to have a few choice words with his best friend. But after getting no answer from Chuck, Nate began raising his arm up, his fist clenched, not pleased with the lack of answer.

"Nathaniel," Chuck cut in quickly, motioning for him to step outside the door, as he realized Blair had been watching him and Nate with slightly wide eyes.

Nate gave in, his stance relaxing as he stepped back out into the hallway, with Chuck following after him, after he quickly told Blair over his shoulder that he would just be out in the hall for a minute.

"So?" Nate questioned, his patience still wearing thin.

"Blair was pregnant," Chuck decided to answer truthfully, knowing that once Serena found out, Nate would be bound to find out sooner or later. That, and the fact that Chuck would prefer to avoid Nate punching him in the face.

"So it's true," Nate said, his brows furrowed, trying to take in the information.

"Not quite," Chuck answered, his hands fisting at his sides at the idea of having to tell Nate, but knowing it needed to be done, and he was at least sure that Nate would keep his mouth shut. Nate gave him a confused look in response to Chuck's answer. "She was pregnant, but...she's not anymore," he concluded, exhaling a large breath and shutting his eyes momentarily.

"Chuck, man, don't tell me you talked her into have an abortion. I know she would never want that," Nate responded, his voice raised due to becoming very angry again, his face now masked in anger as well.

"I didn't talk her into anything," Chuck calmly explained, ignoring the livid expression on his best friend's face. "She had a...a miscarriage," he explained quietly, his eyes not daring to look at Nate, knowing that Nate would see the hurt etched in his face.

"I'm sorry, man, I didn't know," Nate said, the previous hint of anger in his voice now completely gone, leaving it filled with nothing but compassion.

"And it needs to stay that way, Nathaniel. No one can know. You can't breathe a word to anyone, not even your Brooklyn girlfriend," Chuck stated, his face suddenly hard, his intentions nothing short of making sure he protects Blair.

"You have my word, man," Nate swore. "How's Blair handling it?" he asked, knowing that whenever Blair had talked about her and Nate's future together, she had always mentioned a beautiful little baby at some point. "Can I see her?"

"She's..quiet," Chuck fought for the right words. "I don't know if that's a good idea, Nathaniel, Serena's on her way over here. She insisted on coming. She doesn't know about what happened, she still thinks Blair is pregnant. I don't want to overload Blair with too much at once".

"I could always stay to help reign Serena in if she becomes too much for Blair, and I could get Serena out of there if necessary," Nate offered.

Chuck wasn't too sure how good of an idea it was, but he knew Serena may be too much for Blair to handle right now, so with that thought, he gave Nate a slight nod, and opened the door, letting Nate follow him back in.

Upon entering the bedroom, they found Blair curled up in a ball on the bed.

"Blair?" Chuck asked tentatively. "Nate's here," he told her softly. She opened her eyes to peek up at Nate, before giving him a very tiny, weak smile, which all of them knew was forced.

"Hey," Nate said with a smile, going to take a seat in the small arm chair near the bed, not wanting to get too close so he wouldn't upset Blair. "How are you?"

But before Blair could even think to respond to his question, the door flung open and in walked the beautiful blonde, her hair cascading behind her, and a big smile on her face, oblivious to the more serious and tense atmosphere in the room. "Hey B!"

"Hi, S," Blair said hesitantly, still not moving from the ball she had curled herself into, and not enjoying how happy and peppy Serena seemed to be.

"Nate, what are you doing here?" Serena asked, confused.

"Came to see Chuck," he explained with a shrug, not wanting to give too much information.

Serena accepted his response, and went to go sit by Blair on the bed, and placed a gentle hand onto Blair's stomach before asking her the last question Blair would ever want to hear. "How's my little neice or nephew doing?"

With that, Blair began sobbing, the reaction being uncontrollable. "The baby's...gone," she choked on the last word. Blair hadn't been sure if she could tell Serena, or could deal with this situation, but the moment Serena put her hand on her stomach, asking her how the baby was, she knew she would end up blurting it out, whether she wanted to or not.

"What?" Serena asked, alarmed, and aiming her gaze at Chuck, waiting for an answer.

Chuck, realizing that Blair started telling Serena, and clearly wasn't in any state to finish the conversation, he piped up, and told her the rest of the story to help avoid Serena continuing to question Blair. The last thing he wanted was for Blair to be pushed too far. "She lost the baby".

"Oh my God, B. I'm so sorry," she exclaimed, a silent tear now rolling down her own cheek.

They all sat there for a while, no one saying anything, with Serena clutching Blair's hand like a life line, and Chuck soothingly running his hand up and down Blair's back as her tears continued.

"I don't know what to do," Blair finally spoke.

"We'll help you. We can figure something out," Nate replied, his voice full of sincerity.

"Yeah, after all, we're the Non-Judging Breakfast Club," Serena reminded Blair of the words the brunette had told her in the past, and gave Blair's hand a gentle squeeze. "We'll get through it together".

Chuck leaned down and whispered in Blair's ear. "I'm not going anywhere, Blair. I will stand by you through anything," he told her so only she could hear, quoting her past words to him.

Ignoring the others in the room, Blair turned her head so that she was looking at Chuck, who was sitting on the side of the bed she had her back to, and she gave him a soft and short kiss. She knew she wouldn't be able to get through this without him. She appreciated Nate and Serena's help, but the person she couldn't do this without was Chuck. But what scared her even more was the thought that if her doubts became a reality, then she didn't think she stood a chance of getting through it, not that she wouldn't try - she is a Waldorf, after all.

"I think it's time you leave," Chuck said, looking at Nate and Serena, and breaking Blair out of her thoughts.

Nate obliged, standing up and preparing himself to leave. Serena, however, gave Chuck a look, making it known that she didn't approve of this.

"Bye guys," Nate said, his hand raised in a waving gesture. "Take care," he added, locking eyes with Blair for a moment. After receiving a tiny nod for Blair, he left.

Serena on the other hand, remained sitting where she was.

"Serena," Chuck told her, his voice showing his authority, and the fact that he wouldn't put up with any games right now. He was much too concerned about Blair, and she had already broken down in Serena and Nate's presence, and both of them had been there for a while already. He didn't want everyone to exhaust Blair with their presence. He knew Blair needed her rest, and she just needed some peace and quiet, and if he could give her that, then he would. Which meant that Serena needed to go.

"Ugh, fine," the blonde exclaimed exasperatedly, shooting Chuck a glare before turning her attention to the small brunette curled up on the bed. "You can call me whenever you need me. And I'll come back and see you tomorrow, okay, B?" Serena assured, while attempting to give Blair's curled up form a hug.

Blair nodded, knowing she was at a loss for words. "Bye, S," she said with another forced smile, which was again both tiny and faint.

After placing a kiss on the top of Blair's head, Serena rose and left Chuck's suite.

In the meantime, Blair had gripped Chuck's free hand over her shoulder, while his other still rubbed her back. He attempted to get up, but she tightened her grip on his hand, fearing that he would leave as well.

"I'm just going to get you some water," he told her, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze. She let go, realizing he would only be gone for a minute.

In that minute, she began thinking again about the possibility that Chuck may not actually love her, that maybe he was just saying that to appease her, or to make her feel better. No matter what she did, or no matter how much she tried to reassure herself, the doubts still resurfaced.

When Chuck came back a moment later, setting the glass of water down on the bed side table beside Blair, he took his spot on the bed behind Blair again and placed his hand on her arm, absent-mindedly letting his thumb rub her arm.

Gathering up her courage, Blair finally spoke the question she needed an answer to, and a question she was also terrified of asking.

"Chuck," she began. "Why do you love me?"

**Spotted: S and N were both seen rushing to C's suite. Was there a party I wasn't aware of, like a certain Queen B's baby shower? It's only a matter of time before we see the soon to be famous baby bump. Better get ready for your close up, B, your baby bump close up, that is.**

**You know you love me, xoxo,  
-Gossip Girl**

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**So? What did you think? Good? Bad? I did throw in some of the Non-Judgemental Breakfast Club, but not too much. I didn't want to get too much into that since Blair wasn't really up for talking. However, you'll see a bit more of them soon when they start plotting. There was a bit of a bigger part with Chuck and Nate in this chapter, at least, though. And as you can see, Blair's insecurities are still there, and she can't seem to shake them.**

**Coming up [and I won't make you wait as long for the next chapter, I swear]...Will Chuck be able to answer Blair's question? How will Blair handle Chuck's answer? And if he answers, will he be able to finally rid her of her doubts, or will he also confess something of his own?**

**Okay, so...please review, let me know what you think, let me know that you're still interested in this story, please. And also, if you'd like, feel free to include any suggestions you might have for reasons why Chuck loves Blair. I may use some of them.**


	16. When We Take Off The Masks

**Here's the next chapter. It took a bit longer than I had planned, but I couldn't figure out just how I wanted Chuck's explanation to go. I kept going back and changing it, lol. So...this is what I ended up with. Hopefully you guys will like it.**

**I'm also dedicating this chapter to faye29, because she was the only one who gave some suggestions for why Chuck loves Blair. So thank you, I tried working some of them in to what he says =).**

**I read it over before putting it up, but if I missed any mistakes, I apologize.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl or any of the characters. I'm just happy Chuck and Blair are finally together!!**

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**Chapter 16**

"Chuck," she began. "Why do you love me?"

"Wha -- what?" he asked, unsure if he heard her right.

"Why do you love me?" she asked again, this time with more courage.

When Chuck remained silent, just simply staring at her, Blair began to feel her doubts arise. Maybe if he couldn't answer, then he really never meant it.

"Chuck, please. I need to hear why," she told him in a whisper, hoping beyond hope that he meant it and would be able to tell her why, to give her some peace of mind.

"I -- I --," he stuttered. He knew Blair was waiting for his answer. He wanted to give her an answer, but at the same time, it had been hard enough for him to tell her he loves her, and now she wanted him to tell her why. He couldn't find the words he needed.

"That's all I needed to hear," she whispered as she pulled herself farther away from him on the bed, and made an attempt to get up.

But just as her feet hit the floor, Chuck reached for her arm.

"Wait," he said, his voice oddly unreadable.

She turned around to look at him, her face unsure and with a hint of slight irritation.

"I do love you," he told her sternly as he gently pulled at her arm for her to sit back down. "I adore every inch of you. I just -- just give me a minute," he asked as he wracked his brain for an explanation or for the right words as to why he loved this beautiful girl in front of him. He had never thought of why he loved her, he just simply knew that he did. But now that wasn't enough, she needed to know why for some reason, and he was going to do that for her, just like he had vowed to do, to take care of her. And if this is what she needed, then he would give it to her.

His forehead creased in concentration, his lips pursed. She sat upon the bed staring at him, studying his expression while she impatiently waited for his response. The doubts were not gone, and the longer he took to respond, the more the doubt grew, clouding her rational thought.

"I know you better than I know myself, Blair," he began, his lips still pursed in thought as he tried to put his feelings into words - something Chuck Bass did not do. "That night in my limo may not have been planned or expected, but it lead to all of this. It lead to us. I wouldn't take any of it back. It brought me you. And while you were in the hospital the other day, Blair, all I could think about was the fact that I couldn't lose you. I was...terrified," he had difficulty getting out the word, since under normal circumstances that emotion was always hidden. But she needed to know his feelings. "I was terrified that I would lose you, and that...I would kill you, just like I killed my mother. I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I had. And if anything happened to you -- I'm not Chuck Bass without you, Waldorf," he spoke so softly, his voice extremely low. He drew in another breath to continue.

"Wait," Blair breathed, interrupting him and with a hint of confusion on her face. "What do you mean, Chuck? You didn't kill your mom. Your mom died in a plane crash, how could you figure that you were responsible, that you killed her?" she questioned. She, like everyone else, had been told the false story of his mother's alleged plane crash. She was unaware of the secret Chuck held close to his heart.

"She died giving birth to me, Blair. I killed her. It's my fault she's dead," he said bitterly in a sad tone as he closed his eyes, hating himself for being the reason his mother passed away.

Blair gasped at his confession, and she loved him for opening up to her, for letting her in.

"Chuck," Blair whispered, scooting closer on the bed to take Chuck's hand in hers. "It's not your fault she died. Yes, she may have died while giving birth to you, but you didn't kill her, Chuck. It wasn't your fault," she whispered with conviction. "And if anything had happened to me," she paused, "it wouldn't have been your fault, either. Do you hear me?" she asked with more determination in her voice now.

This conversation began with her needing reassurance, but now she realized that Chuck needed reassurance just as much as she did, even if it was about different things. They were both broken, but together, maybe they could fix each other. That thought made her continue speaking, even if it hurt her to talk about it. He needed to hear it.

"I may have been scared about being pregnant, but despite the fear...I was excited, Chuck. Did you know that I -- that I used to talk to -- to the baby all the time?" she asked in a sligtly broken voice, he looked at her in surprise, proving he didn't know. "I don't regret being pregnant, Chuck. I wanted the baby, our baby. For the short time that I was...I enjoyed being pregnant, getting to know that I had a little life growing inside of me, a little life that we created. Together. And the baby brought us back together," she whispered as tears ran down her cheeks, her heart clenching at the words she had just made herself speak out loud. The miscarriage was too new, too recent, too painful to talk about, but she needed to reassure Chuck. "You may have gotten me pregnant, Bass, but...if anything happened to me, it wouldn't have been your fault. Just like it wasn't your fault with your mom," she said as she touched his cheek softly. She couldn't help but let the many unshed tears fall.

Chuck simply nodded, unsure of how to respond to everything she had just said, and unsure how to respond to her reassurance that his mother's death was not his fault. He had believed for so many years that it was. And now this beautiful girl sat beside him, trying to convince him that it wasn't his fault. This beautiful girl who had just opened herself up to him and let him in completely, even if it hurt her to currently do so. She deserved the same.

"I love you, Blair," he whispered into her ear. He realized he had yet to actually tell her why he loves her, to give her the answers she needed. "I love you because you're you. You're Blair Waldorf, and you make no apologies about who you are. You're the only one who understands me, just like I'm the only one who understands you. You helped put me back together after my father's funeral, even after I told you it was too bad that you loved me. You're manipulative, and scheming, and --" he stopped when he seen her send him a glare, "I love that about you. No one could scheme quite like us," he said with a smirk.

Despite herself, Blair let out the smallest of laughs. "Chuck..." she whispered, trying to think of a response.

"I love _**you**_, exactly the way you are. Every stubborn and scheming inch of you," he told her with his trade mark smirk still in tact. "I wouldn't change anything about you," he added.

She smiled, another few tears escaping her eye, though these were now also tears of happiness. Happiness brought by his words, despite the overwhelming sadness that still engulfed her.

"And the butterflies, the ones you demanded I murder on your seventeenth birthday," he smiled at the memory, "they never went away. Try as I might to murder them, as per your demand, they never went away, and they never will," he said in a sure voice, knowing that Blair was his perfect match. At his words, he remembered something.

He got up, Blair giving him a questioning look at his abrupt departure from the bed, but he walked over to his closet. He emerged minutes later with a small gift wrapped box in his hands.

"I got this for you for your eighteenth birthday, but the timing wasn't right, so I decided not to give it to you," he said, now handing her the small gift.

She took it, again giving him a questioning look before she slowly untied the bow, then neatly tore off the wrapping paper to reveal a small jewelry box. With slight growing excitement, she opened the lid and gasped.

Inside was a ring. An elaborate, stunning ring. It was shaped like a butterfly, the white gold spun into intricate designs to create patterns for the wings. And within the wings were six diamond symetrically placed to emphasize the wings. The butterfly's body consisted of a longer topaz stone, with a smaller round one placed directly above it for the head.

"Chuck," she breathed, unable to tear her eyes away from the ring. "It's beautiful."

"It's to remind you that the butterflies are still there, and they'll always be there," he told her, a satisfied grin on his face at her reaction to the gift. He had gotten it for her back then, but it wasn't the right time, but now had seemed like the perfect time to give it to her, and he was right.

"Thank you," she smiled through her tears. "I love it," she told him sincerely as she pulled the ring out from where it was nestled into the box. She slipped it onto the middle finger of her right hand. Taking one deep breath, and giving the ring one last look before she tore her eyes away, she continued. "And I love you, too," she said just above a whisper as her eyes met his.

Chuck smiled, and despite themselves, despite the situation with the baby, they both felt happiness, even if it was only to an extent. They both were in pain over the loss of their baby, as unexpected as the pregnancy may have been, but in this moment, they had finally let their masks fall and their guards down. After so long, both of them had finally admitted how they felt, and they knew now that they had each other to get through this.

He took Blair into his arms, laying back on the bed. He gently wiped her remaining tears away with the pad of his thumb. He placed a soft kiss to her cheek before nuzzling his face into her neck and placing a kiss along her pulse point as well.

They lay like that for an endless moment before Chuck decides to speak, to again help reassure her that things will be okay, as long as he has something to do with it. He's determined to make things okay for her again. The girl he loves deserves the best.

"What do you say tomorrow we get Serena and Nate to come back over and we'll begin doing what we do best; Plotting and scheming?" he asked, his face still pressed to her neck, and then quickly added a reassuring whisper in her ear, "we'll figure out what to do about Gossip Girl."

"Let's take the bitch down," she replied with hatred towards the blogger, a hint of her old self shining through.

**They say old habits die hard, and in Blair's case, that's definitely true. Queen B may already have an idea or two up her designer sleeve. Hell hath no fury like a C and B scorned.**

**xoxo,  
-Gossip Girl**

**------------------------------------**

**Just a note, to clarify so that some don't get the wrong idea...Chuck and Blair haven't just become completely happy and care free or anything...like it says in there, they have their moment of happiness now that their walls all finally come down, and the masks are off and they finally tell each other how they feel...but of course they're still sad and upset and they're still overwhelmed by that. They just had a much deserved moment of happiness.**

******Okay, so the GG comment isn't done quite like the others. The others were all done as blasts or the "spotted" blasts. But since nothing else happened in this chapter except the C/B convo, I couldn't come up with anything for a blast that would be relevant, so...this one is done as more of the Gossip Girl narration you hear throughout the show. **And I'm sorry, I had to have Chuck open up more about his mom, too. So..that's why that also took a tangent there, which began to lead to their heart to heart. Plus, I didn't have him just spit out why he loves her, since...since when does Chuck Bass ever do that? lol. Also, sorry if it's hard for you to picture the ring. I have a ring exactly like that, but mine is done with all topaz stones. When it was given to me, I couldn't help but thing it would be good for C/B. [sorry for the long A/N]

**Coming up...What happens when Blair wants to go outside for some fresh air? What will happen when our favorite four begin to plot? And will something happen to change their plan?**

**Sooo...were you happy with this chapter? Did you like Chuck's answer? Pretty please review and let me know, I love hearing your thoughts.**


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